


Sexfriends

by eichitenshouin



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, first fic attempt as well as first smut attempt i like to die, gotta kill myself writing the oddballs, how do u write sakuma rei pls teach me how to speak like a grandpa, i love talking about graduation haha this is fine im not emo, it's reikao btw, kaokana kinda, sorry if the pace seems so fast this fic wasnt supposed to be long in the first place omg, what did u expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-11-02 03:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10936017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eichitenshouin/pseuds/eichitenshouin
Summary: “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love” - Gabriel García Márquez





	1. Chapter 1

“Dammit. Where the fuck is this playboy again?! I’m gonna kill this bastard for always skippin’ practice”

“Yaawn……♪ Why is it noisy ? Oh, Doggie, you're here.”

“Huuuuuuh?! The hell you’re sayin’, vampire bastard?! It’s almost evenin’!!”

“Is that so? You see, I just woke up from my nap so I lost all notion of time.”

A tensed yet usual atmosphere surrounds the room where Undead are supposed to practice for their upcoming live. Nothing new, though. Kaoru Hakaze is always missing anyway, to the point that no one would tell that they are actually a four-member unit until they see them perform together. As usual, Koga Oogami is pissed, Adonis Otogari stays calm, and Rei Sakuma is…still Rei Sakuma. The latter isn’t particularly annoyed by Kaoru’s behavior as the blonde always delivers satisfying performances on stage. Of course, Rei wishes Undead would be more of a family but it’s easier said than done. After all, he can’t force anyone to think the same way he does. To him, Undead and the Light Music Club are where he belongs but it probably isn’t the case for everyone.

“Whatever, let’s just practice.” Koga's voice breaks his train of thoughts. "Everyone’s makin’ me irritated!"

They dance for two whole hours. Rei and Koga both end up in sweat and exhausted while Adonis seems perfectly fine, as if he hasn't moved an inch the whole time. His stomach suddenly growls, proof that he’s still a normal human being, after all.

“Let’s stop here for today”, Rei smiles, satisfied of his underclassmen’s efforts.

They start getting their stuff without saying anything. The main focus now is to get home fast, have dinner and then finally some rest. Suddenly, Koga comes toward his leader, who’s crouching and putting his belongings in his bag.

“Oi, vampire bastard,” he kicks him to get his attention,“act like a fuckin’ leader and go tell that playboy bastard to get his ass to practice. I’m real tired of his shit.” He snaps. “Our live performance’s comin’ soon and all he cares about are girls. Freakin’ annoyin’!”

“Kukuku ♪ Doggie sure has a lot of energy today.” He says while standing up. “It truly is rare for all of Undead to gather together and practice with all their might for a live. But if it makes Doggie happy, I will try and have a few words with Kaoru-kun.” He pauses and turns his head to look at his other member. “By the way, Adonis-kun. Do you have something worrying you? You have a gloomy face. If you have any concerns, address them with us. We are comrades, no? ” 

“O-Oh. I’m sorry for spacing out, Sakuma-senpai. To be quite honest, I have been worried about my friend.” Adonis has a thoughtful look on his face. “He’s been sick and hasn’t come to school lately so I’ve been wondering if I should visit him and bring him some meat so he can get his strength back.”

“Hm. It is true that I haven’t seen you around with that friend of yours…Kanzaki-kun, is it? You seem to get along very well so it cannot be helped that Adonis-kun has such worries.” He smiles. “I do believe you are overthinking, though. Adonis-kun is much more delicate than how he appears, hm~? Let’s see…..For now, it would be best to let your friend rest. Walking around the school with his katana requires a decent amount of strength so I’m sure he will get this energy of his back and return in no time.”

“Mm. You’re right, Sakuma-senpai.” Adonis replies. “I’ll do as you say and let him rest, then. Forgive me for being a bit out of it today…And thank you for your advice.”

Rei shakes his head.“No worries”, he smiles, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He believes that when it came to relationships, there is no “correct answers”. Despite being an old vampire, he’s still a novice, actually. However, as an elder, he still wants to give the best advice to his “children”.  
Yet, Koga’s right. Kaoru’s multiple absences start becoming problematic as it’s, for both of them, their last year in Yumenosaki and a lot of events are coming up. Being a 3rd year isn’t easy, especially with all the responsibilities and concerns coming with it and the blonde’s careless behaviour doesn’t help _at all_.

The three boys then part ways at the school’s entrance. Adonis and Koga leave together while Rei takes a separate way. To his greatest satisfaction, the sky’s dark and the moon’s high. He thinks about all the things that have happened since he entered Yumenosaki. There are a lot, not only because he repeated a year but also because he was once the student council president. A life full of surprises for an old vampire such as him. He’s actually excited to see what’d happen next after graduation (if he manages to graduate, that is) but also feels a bit of nostalgia. Rei’s lost in his thoughts when something suddenly interrupts him. More like _someone_. He sees a familiar figure crouching, back against the wall. It’s Kaoru. He has a blank stare and doesn’t seem to notice him.

Rei takes a few steps toward him, “Hoho. Isn’t this Kaoru-kun. What a surprise ♪”.

The blonde looks startled for a few seconds, his eyes widen. “S-Sakuma-san? What are you doing here?” He picks himself up and runs a hand through his hair. “Oh right, it’s getting dark. Are you taking one of your morning walks or something?” He forces a smile.

It actually isn’t weird to bump into Kaoru at this hour. What’s unusual is bumping into him at this hour, _unaccompanied_. He’s known as the “playboy” of Yumenosaki, after all, so obviously, he'd be expected to be with one of his dates.

“Well, Undead just finished practicing for the upcoming live. Surely would you be aware of this schedule if you checked our groupchat more often, Kaoru-kun.” He wears his usual smile. “Though as a vampire of a certain age, I am myself behind all this technology.”

This is actually a good opportunity to ask Kaoru to be more serious about his idol activities but for some reason, Rei feels that it would be awkward and inappropriate to lecture him given the current atmosphere. He thinks that it’d be best to save it for later.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kaoru sighs, “The live performance is next weekend, right? I’ll try not to plan too many dates and come to the next practice, promise~”. He lowers his head to take a look at his phone. “Hm, sorry for cutting the conversation short, Sakuma-san, but I should go home. I don’t want my parents to worry or anything, you know~”

Something feels off. Rei doesn't know what nor why, but this definitely feels off.

“Kaoru-kun, is something the matter?” Rei asks out of the blue.

Kaoru takes a few seconds to reply, which isn’t a habit of his. It was short, therefore not noticeable for someone who doesn’t know Kaoru’s usual way of replying to people. Rei isn’t the best at reading others nor is he his best friend whatsoever but he has spent enough time with the blonde to know what to expect from him.

“Haah~ What are you saying all of a sudden, Sakuma-san.” He giggles, “It just so happens that I got…how do you put it…rejected? I’m quite popular with girls so I’m gonna admit I’m not used to this kind of response, you see.” He pouts, “I’ll cry~ I really will~….? Uu, guu…!”

“Hm, is that so? Oho. I see you’ve finally realised the harsh reality of life as well, Kaoru-kun.” He smiles, “There’s a good lad, I shall shower you with compliments and pat your head…♪”

“Hmm, gross... Don’t pretend you’re an adult just because you’re a year older than me. It’s kinda irritating.”

“Kukuku, are you embarrassed after having someone tease you a little?”

“Sakuma-san, don’t poke fun at me, all right?” He sighs, “Anyway. I really have to go or my old man will…Well, see ya!”

“Bye bye, Kaoru-kun. See you at…” He’s gone. “…practice.”

Kaoru disappears quickly, leaving Rei standing and waving in the air. He feels like something's wrong but can’t tell what it is exactly. He isn’t sure if he's supposed to do something or if he should just let it be. He has always had a laissez-faire approach to things, after all. Rei’s never the kind of person who likes to be in the spotlight (he is a vampire, after all), he always keeps a low profile and never shares his true intentions with anyone. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care, though, far from it. He does wish for people’s wellbeing but let’s say he isn’t the sociable type.  
Still, he wonders what Kaoru wanted to say before leaving so suddenly. _“Or my old man will…What?”_ Rei thinks.  
  


* * *

   
“You disgrace of the Marine Club!”

A voice wakes Rei up from his daily nap. It’s coming from outside and sounds familiar not because he knows the person, but because it’s always the same sentence repeated almost every day. He sighs, opening his coffin in a slow movement. He stretches before stepping out then walks toward the window overlooking the school’s fountain. He can see his old friend Kanata, soaking in water, as well as his two club members standing near him.

_“Kaoru and Adonis’ friend.”_ He thinks, while yawning and rubbing his eye. Souma seems displeased, frowning at Kaoru and ready to draw the sword he always carries around. _“These two sure are fun to watch”_

All of a sudden, Kanata pushes the swordman's head underwater. Rei remembers he once asked Kaoru about this, to which the latter replied as “It’s his punishment”.  
The self-proclaimed vampire then protects his face against the sun with the back of his hand. It’s still too early to wake up but also too late to go back to sleep as Undead are supposed to have practice soon. He’s happy to see that Kaoru has kept his promise and stayed at school enjoying some time with his club members. Usually, the blonde would skip even his club activities so seeing him here means that he might as well come to practice.  
Rei still has some time to kill so he decides to stay by the window like he usually does. He likes watching his beloved schoolmates, his “children and grandchildren” as he’s used to calling them. His eyes are following Kaoru’s movements and expression. He thinks of what happened the other day and is unsure whether or not Kaoru lied to him but something definitely feels wrong. His fellow member still wears his casual smile and seems embarrassed about Souma’s treatment as he gently asks his friend to stop submerging their underclassman in the fountain.  
Rei is curious. Much as he usually can figure out both Koga and Adonis’ personality quite easily, he can _never_ guess what Kaoru is thinking  _at all_. The blonde is still a mystery to him and he believes that his curiosity comes from the fact that he’s his unit member, nothing else. It really doesn’t feel right to have someone in the same group as you who gives the impression of being a total stranger. On top of that, what happened the other day showed him a vulnerable side of Kaoru that Rei has never expected to see, no matter how little he knows him. He might be wrong, of course, but his “vampire instinct” never betrays him. Somehow, he wants to know more, to see more of this side. Is it because he’s tired of the same repetitive things ? He, himself, has no idea.

* * *

   
“HAAAAA? An Undead hang out?? The fuck you plottin’ again you damn vampire??”

“Oogami. You should listen to what Sakuma-senpai has to say and calm down.” Adonis calmly says.

“Honestly, Doggie…Sometimes I really do wish you could be a bit more like Adonis-kun.” Rei sighs while shaking his head. “Precisely. All of the members of Undead have finally gathered. If you think about it, it truly took us a long way to get here. This is why I would like all of us to hang out and get along as a unit.” Rei answers.

“But I have a…” Kaoru objects.

“I did say all of us, didn’t I ? Of course, that includes you, Kaoru-kun.” Rei interrupts. “Not to worry. If anyone has any good ideas of places we could go and have some fun, don’t hesitate to speak up. I promise to take any and all ideas into consideration, especially since I’m not used to these kinds of human activities…♪”

"……Keh! What the hell, how booo~ring!" Koga replies, obviously annoyed by this futile idea. Many events are coming up and it's definitely not the time to slack off and have fun...

“Oh, well. I might have some places in mind…I actually planned to go there with girls, though. But since you don’t seem to leave me any choice…”  
  
“Oh? I was almost worried that no one would suggest anything. I’m grateful for that, Kaoru-kun.”

Undead have just finished practising when Rei drops the idea. They have been working really hard lately so some good time is well deserved. Adonis is the only one who seems pleased with it, meanwhile the other two are complaining again for whatever reasons.

“Wonderful, wonderful ♪” Rei adds. “It was about time that us Undead strengthened our bonds as a family!”

“Tch. Shut up, just shut up!” Koga snaps.

“Calm down, little dog~ If you keep making a racket, I’ll put a collar on you.” Kaoru sighs.

“Grrrrr!”

“Oogami.”

As usual, Adonis has to calm the two boys down. They’re used to constantly bickering over nothing, which makes Rei smile every time. “I’m happy to see that my children get along so well.”

“Please stop. I’d prefer not to “get along” with guys~ How can you even see this as “getting along” anyway.” Kaoru pauses. “And don’t call me your child! It’s gross. I've already told you, you may be one year older than me but remember we’re both 3rd years, Sakuma-san.”

Rei giggles, “Oh, Kaoru-kun. By the way, I’m so glad that you could make it. It took you a while, so I was afraid you weren’t going to come today. You shouldn’t tease your elders so much. You never know when I’ll just pass away one day…”

The blonde chuckles, “Hmph. Sakuma-san, I’m pretty sure you’re not even that old…”. He adds, “Don’t misunderstand, though. I only accepted because I don’t feel like going home tonight.”

“Is that so?” Rei thinks. He wonders how Kaoru can manage to just not go home whenever he wants. He’s definitely a rebel kid…or his family situation is so bad he doesn’t even want to return to his own house. Whatever the reason is, Rei gets this thought out of his mind and claps his hands to bring everyone’s attention back.

“Now then, let’s get going, shall we? We will be in your care, Kaoru-kun.”

   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONJOUR thank you for reading idk where this will get me but i hope it'll be fun
> 
> i have no idea why im writing this and reikao aren't even my #1 ship but ! !! ! i still love them so much and i've got tons of ideas about them so here we are
> 
> i'm a noob and i'm trying so pls be nice to me
> 
> follow me on twit @duhzai  
> also thank jeanne @utenatenjo for the title idea im so bad at this omg
> 
> comments/advice/reactions really appreciated ;;


	2. Chapter 2

Undead are lost. In the middle of downtown. Kaoru can’t remember where the restaurant is and Koga keeps complaining that the blonde is only useful when playing around with girls but when it comes to their unit, he’s as useless as ever. They end up bickering once again, and have to be stopped by both Adonis and Rei as they start bringing attention. They are all hungry and agree on the fact that they should focus on finding the place as soon as possible. 

After a few minutes, Kaoru exclaims “Oh, found it. I finally remember.”

The restaurant’s sign says _“Korean BBQ”_ and doesn’t look as imposing as the other ones around. It’s actually barely noticeable, which explains how hard it was to find it. Adonis seems delighted with Kaoru’s choice because barbecue obviously means _a lot_ of meat. Koga’s actually the first one to rush inside as the hunger’s too strong to bear. The other three follow him soon enough and enter the restaurant a few seconds later.   
As expected, it’s a small place with not much decoration besides a few framed pictures. Everything’s in wood, from the walls to the furniture and each table, surrounded by pillows, has a grill in which customers can cook their own meat. Adonis’ eyes sparkle at the view and smell since it’s the first time he goes to this kind of restaurant. He truly looks like a kid in an amusement park.

The four members then remove their shoes before sitting on the pillows. Instead of taking individual dishes, the two seniors decide to let their underclassmen choose all the meat they want so they can share and eat together. Koga and Adonis are already struggling with what seem like life choices. Rei smiles at the scene before looking at Kaoru, who's been texting next to him ever since they've arrived.

“Hm, by the way, isn’t this place a bit too cramped for a date, Kaoru-kun? You planned to bring ladies here at first, didn’t you?”.

“Well, I actually changed my mind at the last minute.” He replies without taking his eyes off his phone “I thought that it’d be weird to bring guys to my dating spots, you see. So I remembered this place I used to go to with my family as a kid so yeah…It was such a long time ago so that’s why I couldn’t remember the way.” 

“Is that so? Oh ho, does that mean you consider us as your family, Kaoru-kun?” 

Kaoru lifts his head, “Haah…Don’t just go and assume things, Sakuma-san. I chose this restaurant because it’s the only one I wouldn’t bring a girl to because of the smell of meat and how small it is…Not very appealing for a date, you know.”

Rei answers, “I see”, before turning his head to Adonis and Koga who are apparently done choosing for everyone. They start shooting the breeze, especially about the other Yumenosaki’s students. Adonis thanks Rei once again for his advice the other day, as Souma indeed recovered and returned to school quite fast. They also talk about their respective clubs and Kaoru wonders how it’s even possible for the Light Music Club to be evenactive if Rei sleeps in his coffin the whole afternoon away. The conversation gets so lively, everyone seems to be having a really good time and Rei believes this hang out was a great idea.  


After dinner, Koga suggests going to a karaoké he knows nearby. Everyone agrees as it’s Friday anyway which means time to enjoy their teenager life to the fullest. Once again, Adonis is curious since he has never been there before, meanwhile Kaoru knows the place really well too as it’s one of his favorite hang out spots. Karaoké’s the best place to show off his singing skills in a more private place than a stage, after all.

They reach the place after around 5 minutes. Kaoru and Koga are both regular customers so they end up bickering over what’s the best room to take and what snacks to eat. As always, Adonis is the one calming them down while Rei giggles at the scene. That’s exactly what makes him happy: he likes Undead the way they are and doesn’t want them to change in the slightest. 

A few minutes later, they finally agree on a karaoké room and snacks. It's thanks to Adonis who suggested that Kaoru would be the one choosing the room meanwhile Koga would choose the snacks. He is actually really good at dealing with people bickering since, as he often says, his three sisters do that all the time and he’s always the one finding a way to resolve their futile fights…or more like they all agree on using their little brother as a solution to their never ending issues.  
  
The four boys then enter the spacious room. “Told ya it was the biggest room” Kaoru turns his head to Koga.  
  
The latter snaps, “Shut up, Hakaze…..senpai.”, which makes the blonde laugh in a mocking way.  
  
Rei feels worried that these two would fight over which song to sing but it seems obvious that they’d sing Undead's songs first.Koga is unstoppable and ends up singing their four songs without a single break while the others take turn to sing with him since there are only two microphones. Next songs are Akatsuki’s as Kaoru thinks it’d be funny to imitate their choreography. He asks Adonis to take Souma’s role and Rei to take Keito’s. They all have a lot of fun and it’s probably the first time they laugh so much together. Plus, it’s got dark outside so Rei’s full of energy.

After a few more songs, they decide that it’d be wise to go home. It’s been a long day and they all deserve some rest. They head to the karaoké’s exit and spend a few more minutes talking about next week's schedule and plans. Rei then ends the conversation by wishing his "children" a good night before parting ways. Koga and Adonis leave together while their upperclassmen take the opposite direction.   


* * *

 Rei and Kaoru walk side by side. No one says a word and it feels _really_  awkward. The atmosphere went from being animated to lifeless all of a sudden and none of them really know how to deal with this. Rei seems more concerned about it, though, as Kaoru looks too thoughtful to say anything. Rei notices it isn't the first time today and it reminds him of the other night he found the blonde in such a weird mood as well. He decides to break the silence.  
  
“Good work today, Kaoru-kun. Even without practice, you still deliver an excellent performance.”

“Well, thanks.” He pauses. “You…also seem full of energy, today, Sakuma-san. It’s surprising.” 

Kaoru's cheerful mood has disappeared ever since they left the others and Rei wonders what’s on his mind. He then remembers he has yet to talk to the blonde about his practice attendance but again, he feels like it’s not the right time. He opens his mouth for a few seconds then closes it. The other boy still doesn't say anything and takes a look at his phone even though he didn't get any notification. 

After a while of silence, Rei finally says, “Kaoru-kun. As Undead’s leader, I would like to have a few words with you about an important matter…so…Is it all right if we head to my house?” He pauses. “It’s getting late and I assume the human body needs rest so I understand very well if you decline my offer.” 

“Sure.”

Rei blinks. He actually suggested this out of the blue…It is true that he needed to talk to Kaoru more seriously but he really expected the latter to refuse as he “doesn’t want to get along with guys to the point of going to their house”…Especially since the Undead hang out was probably too much for him already. He blinks again and says, “Very well. Let’s get going, then.”

They continue walking in silence. Sometimes, Rei would start the conversation but it’d end quite fast as Kaoru doesn’t seem in the mood to reply with more than a single word. Rei doesn’t hesitate to let him know that he isn’t his usual self today. 

“Hm, is that so? I guess I’ve been a bit tired lately.” 

Undead’s leader notices that Kaoru forces himself to be more talkative after that, as if he’s been caught and wants to hide it. He decides to play along with it, it’s not like it was his business to begin with anyway.

They reach Rei’s house a few minutes later. Kaoru’s surprised that nobody seems to be awake given the fact that the Sakumas are all self-proclaimed vampires so he expected them all to be full of energy at night. 

“Ritsu went to sleep over at Mao’s and my parents are overseas.” Rei says as if he’s read in Kaoru’s mind. “I’m usually alone on weekends, though…My dear brother avoids me as usual and my parents are quite busy people so having someone coming over from time to time brings some refreshing change, you see.” He smiles while inviting Kaoru to come in. 

“Wow, is that so? I’m a little jealous that you can be happy over the simplest things, Sakuma-San. Honestly, I wish it was the same at home… I need a break, sometimes.”

Rei wonders what could be so bad that Kaoru always has to bring this topic up. Indeed, it’s not the first time he implies that his family situation isn’t the best and that he wants to be free when he’s out of his house. This probably explains his frivolous personality and Rei notices how different they are. He, who always wishes for his little brother to go back to how he used to be before, finds it hard to understand that someone could actually wish not to get involved with their family anymore. But this is actually what makes him love “humans”: to see how different and interesting they all are. 

  
It’s the first time Kaoru comes to Rei’s house, or rather, a _guy_ ’s house. He looks around, probably expecting to see some weird vampire stuff and spider webs everywhere but the Sakuma house is actually…unexpectedly normal. There are a lot of framed family pictures and Kaoru can’t help but feel a bit envious. His house also has a lot of these but…the feeling isn’t the same. It’s more like formal family portraits rather than happy childhood or vacation pictures like the ones he’s looking at. His eyes suddenly stop on a photo of Ritsu hugging Rei as kids. He feels a little sad that their relationship isn’t the same anymore but thinks that at least, they did have happy and warm moments as brothers in the past, unlike his relationship with his own brother that has always been as cold and distant as ever. 

Rei feels embarrassed to see Kaoru so immersed in this, as the blonde starts giggling at every picture he sees. The self-proclaimed vampire’s never really thought of himself as a lonely person but this situation reminds him that he hasn’t got a friend over for quite some time and, as he said earlier, it really is refreshing. 

“Mm, Kaoru-kun. Would you mind following me to the kitchen for a drink? I must admit I am glad to see that you are enjoying yourself this much, but this is quite embarrassing, you see.” Rei sighs.

Kaoru laughs, “What is it, Sakuma-san? Are you actually a shy old man?”. He keeps teasing while following Rei to the kitchen. “You were actually really cute as a kid, almost as cute as a girl!”.

“Kukuku, having this kind of compliment coming from you is a delight to the ears, Kaoru-kun. I actually got mistaken for a girl quite a few times in the past.” He confesses while taking some beer bottles out of the fridge. “Which one would you like?”

“Sakuma-san…This is alcohol.”

“Indeed.”

“We’re underage…” 

“Oh my, you’re oddly acting all serious, aren’t you Kaoru-kun……? How unexpected from you ♪” He pats the blonde’s head. “Don’t tell me you’ve never tried it before?”

It’d be a lie if he denied it. Of course, he has. It’d be shameful to refuse to drink at gokon when everyone does…Plus, he’d be considered as a kid when he’s supposed to actually make girls fall for him. Going so far only for girls…This thought makes him laugh inside.

“Well…I have. Only once, though.” He raises an eyebrow, “What about you, Sakuma-san?”

“Kukuku. In fact, there was no legal drinking age in the country I went to study in. Thus, I was able to try it a few times with the friends I made there.” He tells. “While I do enjoy tomato juice and the like, sometimes I’d prefer something more filling, you see. This beverage is actually quite enjoyable, especially if it’s shared with someone.”

Rei continues telling about some anecdotes from his time studying abroad while taking a bottle of wine. His mom really likes wine and has such a great collection she wouldn’t even notice if one bottle goes missing. He also realizes that it’s the first time he tells this story to someone. Many rumors were spread that he left to take care of Eichi’s mess overseas but no one really knows more nor ever asked him about it either. It feels actually nice to be able to talk about it to someone, and Kaoru's a good listener.

The self-proclaimed "vampire" then suggests that they go to his room to drink. Beer and wine in hands, he asks his fellow member to follow him while they’re talking about legal drinking age and other stuff.   
  
Just like his house, Rei's room looks unexpectedly normal. No coffin, no weird vampire things and there’s even a mirror. Kaoru looks around with a surprised look, running a hand in his hair. “Well, this is…” He utters.

“Hm?”

“…Unexpected”

“What is?” Rei raises an eyebrow.

“Your room, Sakuma-san. It looks way too normal. Just like your whole house, actually.”

Rei giggles, “Oh my, Kaoru-kun. You didn’t expect to find a dark room with candelabras, coffins and red velvet curtains, did you?”

“Of course I did! Man, you sleep in a huge coffin at school there’s no way I wouldn’t expect anything this weird in your own room!”

They both start laughing at the situation. Who would believe that the weirdest thing about the Sakumas’ house was that it's as normal as any other house? Even Kaoru’s looks weird compared to theirs. 

Rei opens the beers and gives one to Kaoru. They clink their bottles while saying “ _Cheers_ ”, although there’s nothing particular to celebrate. On the contrary, they initially came here because Rei had something serious to talk about with Kaoru and they both kinda forgot about it.

After a few sips and talks, Rei finally remembers and finds the opportunity to tell his fellow member about the matter.

“Kaoru-kun. You remember I asked you to come over because I had something to tell you, yes?”

“Mmm~ What is it, Sakuma-san?” Kaoru replies, resting his head on his hand. He’s already tipsy after only one bottle.

Rei smiles at him, while pouring a glass of wine for both of them. “You are well aware that our next live performance as well as Repayment Festival are coming soon, aren’t you? Well, I would like you to take your idol activities more seriously, not only for the unit’s sake but also for your own. You can do it when you try, so do come along to our practice sessions if you can, Kaoru-kun.” He pauses. “In addition, I’ve heard from Hasumi-kun that you’ve been late or absent quite a lot so I’ve been concerned about your graduation…After all, I don’t want you to repeat a year like my dear little brother.”

“Nn~ Could you not act like you’re an adult? It pisses me off. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this but just because you were born a little bit earlier doesn’t mean you get to act all arrogant, you know?” Kaoru keeps drinking. “Pretending to be diligent, being scolded”. He takes another sip, “Just… spare me from lectures, Sakuma-san.”

“My apologies. I hear that often from Ritsu as well…”

“Like I’m saying, that attitude of yours…” Another sip. “Honestly, I didn’t agree to come to another guy’s house only to be lectured again. I have enough of this at home already.”

Rei doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say, only Kaoru’s sips sounds are filling this awkward silence. He can’t stop drinking out of frustration and gets flustered to the point that his eyes well up with tears.“What the hell is happening to me ??” He cries out. “I don’t know what’s going on…” He gets up, ready to leave but can’t bring himself to do so. He’s too drunk already.

The other boy gets up to help him and keeps him down. He himself drank a lot but not enough to actually lose his mind. Kaoru stares at the floor, sobbing.

“Kaoru-kun, listen. It really wasn’t my intention to sound arrogant or harsh. I did express my thoughts as your unit’s leader…and as a friend.” He calmly explains. 

“Friends…” Kaoru repeats under his breath. He then lifts his head to look at Rei in the eyes. “W-We’re friends? Friends like…You’ve finally acknowledged us as equals?” He stutters, still sobbing.

“Yes, Kaoru-kun. We are partners and friends so there’s no need for you to worry about that.” Rei can’t help but laugh at how childish Kaoru is. “Kaoru-kun is a good boy, hm……? ♪”. He pats the blonde’s head.

“Y-You’ve always treated me like a child, S-Sakuma-san. Acting all high and mighty even though we’re in the same year, you know?” He lets out a sigh of relief. “So I’m not your child anymore, huh? Thank god.” His sad tears are now mixed with laughing tears as he still has no control over himself. He wipes his tears before drinking the wine down . 

_“Cute…”_ Rei smiles at his friend’s flushed face. He realizes that it’d be better for Kaoru to stay over as he definitely isn’t in the right state to go home by himself. He actually feels his cheeks burning as well and decides to open the window to let some air into the room. When he turns around to check on Kaoru, the latter has started removing his clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writer's block hitting me real hard im so sorr


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /!\ smut alert /!\
> 
> i tried

Rei's head is spinning. Alcohol has started kicking in and it actually becomes hard for him to stand. He holds on to his desk next to the window while removing his jacket. 

“God , it’s so hot…” 

“Yeah, man…Oh wow.” Kaoru loses his balance and falls on the floor. “Aaaaaah drinking with you is great, Sakuma-san. It is …. greeaaattttttt!!!!” He exclaims while unbuttoning his shirt.

 “Is that so?” Rei smirks while sitting down next to him. 

 “Yeaaaahhhhhh …..Really really. Let’s do it more often.”

 Rei, definitely drunk, imitates Kaoru’s voice, “We’re underage!! Doing stuff with guys? Never in a million years!!!!!!”

 “S-Shut up!! I-I…”

 “There, there, Kaoru-kun. I’d appreciate if you treated your elder with some respect. Should I put a collar on you as well?” He says while his finger slides over Kaoru’s jaw then down his exposed chest. “I have noticed this for quite a while but you’ve got such a nice body for someone who’s so careless…”

 “Well, thanks. It’s necessary if you want to please the ladies, you know. Also, I wouldn’t be so popular if I didn’t care about my looks.” He says proudly, without rejecting Rei’s touch. 

 “I see…” Rei lies down on his side, propped up on his elbow and resting his head on one hand. 

 “H-Hm, Sakuma-san isn’t too bad either…for a dude.” He replies while unconsciously undoing Rei’s shirt.

 The latter chuckles, “This is another good compliment from you, Kaoru-kun.” His finger still sliding on the blonde’s body. “You really really are a good boy.”

 “S-Sakuma-san…This is gross…” 

 “Hm? What is?” Rei smirks. “Look at you.”

 Kaoru realizes what he’s doing and his eyes widen.

_Huh uh_. 

He has totally lost all control of himself and even though his brain is screaming for him to stop, his hands don’t seem to listen at all. He then gets closer to Rei, who's started caressing his cheek and playing with his blonde hair. They probably both have no idea what they’re doing (especially Kaoru), but they keep going anyway. They can’t be stopped at this point and for some reason, they don’t seem to be bothered in the least as their bodies react quite well to each other's touch. 

 “ _What the fuck am I doing_ ”, Kaoru thinks,“ _Whatever, it must be a terrible dream._ ” 

His hands then undo Rei’s pants and remove them entirely. The latter does the same and even though their moves are slow, everything seems to go way too fast for his mind to catch up. He bits his bottom lip as tiny shocks of pleasure radiate in his whole body. Rei was stroking his thighs, getting so close to _that part,_  he definitely doesn’t know where to look at and what to say. He decides to stare at the empty bottle on the table and convinces himself that he would wake up soon.  
  
Kaoru closes his eyes _,“Maybe the dream would change if I think about something ridiculous…like….Koga as a duck”_ , he shakes his head, “ _What the actual fuck this is even worse._ ” The blonde brings a hand to his face, breathing heavily. He bites back a moan as Rei finds his way to his neck, kissing it gently. His touches and kisses send shivers down his spine and as much as he wants it to stop, his body won’t listen and only moves on its own. The blonde then proceeds (he swears it's against his will) to completely unbutton his partner’s shirt and throws it away. Saying Rei’s body “isn’t too bad” was an understatement. Sure, it isn’t the best athletic body ever but it is attractive enough to make even Kaoru _‘no homo’_ Hakaze splay his hands across his chest.

Sakuma Rei is right in front of him, in his underwear, doing things he would never have imagined he’d be doing with _Hakaze Kaoru_ of all people. Who would have thought ? The older boy finds the situation quite amusing, nonetheless.

“You smell so good, Kaoru-kun.” He whispers, sniffing his neck. “It almost makes me want to drink you blood.” He kisses his neck once again before running a hand through Kaoru’s hair. He then pretends to bite him (he doesn’t like the smell of blood), taking some skin between his teeth and sucking on it, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough for his partner to let a groan tickle his ear. The latter clings onto his back. 

“ _Adorable_ ”, he thinks. 

Kaoru could hear his heart and head throbbing so hard he would explode. He wonders if it was all because of alcohol or the fact he let himself be carried away…or both. The only thing he knows is that it's too late to go back. He doesn’t know why but he feels like he desperately wants more.

“Should we go to bed, Kaoru-kun?” Rei asks.

_Go to bed?_ Go to bed as actually _going_ and finish all this _in bed_ or as let’s go to sleep as good kids because it’s getting late? He doesn’t dare to ask, it’s way too embarrassing and the vampire would definitely tease him his entire life with that.  Kaoru’s still too drunk to stand up properly and is still clinging to Rei as if his life depends on it. The latter rolls his eyes at how childish the blonde is. At this very moment, he actually reminds him of Ritsu, who used to be like this not that long ago. Yet, it feels like forever since his brother was this cute and clingy to him.   
Rei stands up, supporting his partner with his arms. He’s used to carrying his coffin at school so carrying another man isn't a problem at all. Kaoru closes his eyes and passes out as soon as he gets in bed, probably too tired from all the things that have happened today as well as all the alcohol he’s guzzled down. The older boy sits on the edge of his bed and stares at him for a few seconds. He’s a little frustrated that they don’t continue where they left off because even though it was only a few touches and kisses, it did feel  _really_ good.  
The vampire takes a look at the clock on his bedside table. 11:47pm. It's still too early for him to go sleep, he doesn't even feel tired anyway. He sighs. God, no one will ever know how much he wants to tease Kaoru even more at this very moment...And this idiot just passes out, leaving them both in their underwear and ruining the mood. Rei turns around to take his beer and drink it down. He thinks of going to sleep in Ritsu’s room instead, as doesn’t want Kaoru to be disgusted if he wakes up to a half naked guy sleeping next to him. He stands up, ready to leave, when suddenly, he feels a hand grabbing his wrist.

“Stay with me…” Kaoru says in a whiny voice. “…Sakuma-san.”

Rei’s eyes widen. God, all he wants right now is to jump in bed and do anything he wants to him but…Self control. He needs to keep his self control. They’re both drunk. They’re going to regret it. As much as the temptation is at its peak, he has to hold himself back for Kaoru's sake. The latter would die, otherwise.

The older boy rubs the back of his neck, “Hm, aren’t you tired, Kaoru-kun?” 

“Naaah I’m never tired…” He tightens the grip on the other boy’s wrist. “Stay with me.”

“Yes, I’m staying, don’t worry.” He sits down.

“I mean, get in bed. Next to me.” He whines. “Pleaaaase!”

“Hm? Did I hear it right? Oh my, Kaoru-kun, what happened to your _“I don’t want to get along with guys?”_ ” He smirks.

Kaoru looks away, “Well, hm…I…It’s okay if it’s you, Sakuma-san.”

Rei’s heart skips a beat. He can’t believe what he’s just heard and even though he keeps a straight face, he's definitely filled with emotion inside. He feels delighted because not only did Kaoru let go of his “no homo” behaviour but he also did it toward him and him _alone_. Rei’s never experienced the feeling of being someone’s “ _First_ ”. No matter what he does, he’s always been second. Even as a student council president, even as the elder brother, even as a unit and club’s leader. He’s always had the feeling of being _behind_ something or someone, the feeling of not succeeding anything as he wishes. Maybe is it the fact that he always works in the shadows ? Maybe because he’s never really treated anyone as his equal ? Who knows, he’s probably the one who chose to live a lonely life, after all. In any case, he feels happy that someone shows him that he’s needed, even if it’s under the influence of alcohol, even if it’s only for a few minutes… He enjoys every bit of it.   
The older boy feels his cheeks burning even more and covers his face in embarrassment. Never has he expected Kaoru to be this cute and keeping his self control becomes even harder. After taking a deep breath, he gets himself into bed. He doesn’t dare look at Kaoru and turns his back. God, why did he suggest to go to bed?

“Life’s been tough, lately.” Kaoru utters after a few seconds. “My dad’s a pain in the ass...My sister’s been preparing her omiai...and she is not ready at all.”

Rei doesn’t say a word. 

“She burst into tears the other day. The same day we bumped into each other, remember? I couldn’t bear it so I ran away and cried all by myself…like a fucking loser.” He laughs, “Thank god, it was dark outside so I didn’t need any makeup to cover my swollen eyes. How pathetic, huh? ”

Rei still doesn’t really know what to say nor what to do. He definitely didn’t expect the situation to turn out this way and he also isn’t used to people confessing personal matters to him at all. Although he always seems like he knows the right things to say, it’s actually not the case. 

After a while of awkward silence, he finally answers, “Kaoru-kun…I wish you could rely on us more. We’re a unit, after all. We’re your partners and your friends. Life will continue to go on and I believe every human being needs support in their life.” 

Another silence, no reply. Only their breathing sounds fill the room. Rei doesn’t move an inch and waits for the other boy to say something instead. Kaoru seems to have ignored everything his leader has said as he presses his nose against the back of his neck.

“I haaaaaate when people don’t look at me while they’re talking to meee…Sakuma-san you meaaaniiieee.” He pouts. “Look at me!!”

Rei gasps. The blonde's move has totally caught him off guard. " _This idiot, he literally ignored what I’ve just said."_

Suddenly, he feels a cold arm around his waist. It makes him shivers as Kaoru’s now very close to him, to the point that he can feel his breath. Everything goes so fast in his head, he becomes even more confused than he already was. Alcohol’s taking its effect once again and he can hear his head throbbing really hard. He decides to turn and faces Kaoru…as tears fall down the latter's cheeks.  
  
His eyes widen in surprise. _“W-what the”_ , he thinks. This is when Rei realizes how bad he is with reading people and dealing with their emotions. _“If only Wataru could appear out of nowhere like he always does and help me with this matter, I’d be forever thankful...Or Kanata, he probably knows how to deal with Kaoru much better than me.”_ He lets out a sigh.  A lot of things run through his mind and he definitely _doesn’t_ know what to do. For some reason, he feels like his hand suddenly moves on its own to wipe Kaoru’s tears away.

“W-what the hell is happening to me??” He cries while rubbing his eyes.

“Is it the first time you get drunk, Kaoru-kun?”

“Well, to the point I remove all my clothes, get in bed with a dude AND cry like a little baby, yes, it is.”

Rei giggles. “Really adorable”, he says under his breath. “Hm, do you want me to close the window, perhaps? Your arm is so cold even I can feel it.”

“Naaaah, it’s fine. We’re two attractive dudes with two hot bodies, it’s gonna get heated in nooooooo time!” 

_ "Oh ho?"  _

Rei takes the blonde's words as an invitation, pushing him to go even further. It's too much, Rei can’t take it any longer and positions himself on top of Kaoru. He leans over, his face only a few inches away from his. He whispers, staring into the other boy’s eyes “I shall do my best to heat us up, then.” He then puts his hair into a ponytail. “Let’s continue where we left off, shall we?”

The older boy has no time to waste and starts kissing Kaoru's cheek. He then nibbles his ear while slowly caressing his body. He continues his way down until he feels something hard against his chest.

“W-wait S-sakuma-san what is th-“, Kaoru stutters.

Rei smirks and puts his hand on his partner’s dick. 

“Oh ho? What do we have here?” 

“S-shut up, Sakuma-san. Just…Shut up. This is all your fault, damn it.” 

“You’re being rude again, Kaoru-kun. Stay still, would you? Let me take responsibility for this.” He strokes it gently.

Rei would never, ever imagine Kaoru Hakaze getting hard because of another guy, let alone himself; and even worse, that it’d turn him on so much. He doesn’t know why, but at this very moment, all he wants is to make his friend feel good. 

“Help me with this shit, Sakuma-san. Since you have the same thing as me, you should know where the good spots are.” He covers his face, “Aaaah what a pain. Doing this kind of stuff with a dude…Geez, it better feel good.”

It’s crazy how Kaoru’s behavior constantly changes when he’s drunk. Rei finds that funny and cute, nonetheless. Even though it’s a bit confusing, he can’t help but laugh at this ironic situation. 

“Fine, by me. Do not regret this in the morning, Kaoru-kun.”

Rei goes back to kissing the blonde’s chest, sucking and biting his nipple softly. He feel his dick throb and grow harder with each of Kaoru’s tiny moans. His lips then move to his cock, kissing it gently before yanking his boxers down. He wraps his fingers around the throbbing and leaking shaft, rubbing the tip with his thumb. 

“You’re leaking so much, Kaoru-kun…it’s impressive.” He teases, while jerking him off. 

Kaoru shivers, tilting his head back. His lips are slightly parted and he breathes heavily. “Fuck,” he whispers.

“Spread your legs.”

Kaoru's heart is racing and even though he’ll never admit it, his body is drowning more and more in pleasure with each of Rei’s strokes. He, who’s always claimed to be into girls and nothing else, has fallen into his own trap. He lowers his eyes to look at his partner who’s started licking up his length. Suddenly, his hand reaches the older boy’s head, slightly pushing it forward as if he’s asking for more. The latter seems to have noticed it and removes his own underwear before putting the dick in his mouth, sucking it while jerking himself off.  Kaoru groans loudly, his hand still pushing on the other boy's head. His leader looks so experienced with all this he can’t help but feel embarrassed since he’s supposed to be the most skilled one. Well, he thinks he is.  
He keeps staring at the boy blowing him so deeply, he catches himself thinking that Rei's incredibly sexy when sucking him off, especially with this ponytail. He doesn't even deny it anymore, he can't even think straight anymore. All of a sudden, Rei starts sucking harder and harder, swirling his tongue around the erection, his lips wet with saliva. 

“Rei, Rei!” Kaoru almost screams, before covering his mouth immediately.

Rei lifts his head and pulls away, “What did you just…?” He asks, wiping the precum and saliva from his mouth.

“I…”, he pants, “I mean, Sakuma-san…”

“No, no, call my name. Call me Rei, it’s…hot.”

“R-Rei, I’m so close, please…Please don’t stop.” He begs. 

Rei smirks, “Aaah…It has been a while since my blood has been boiling. What are you doing to me, Kaoru-kun?”

He sits up, jerking himself off before positioning his dick up against Kaoru’s. He then takes the other’s hand to put it on his hard cock, “You stroke it too.”

Kaoru follows the order and starts stroking them together with his two hands. It feels way too good, even better than anything he’s ever experienced in his life. They’re both full-on panting now, both getting closer to climax as Rei moves his body up and down to increase the rubbing. 

“R-Rei, oh my god, Rei! I’m close…” Kaoru moans, throwing his head back and coming onto his chest.

Rei comes soon after, before collapsing on top of his partner, the two breathing and sweating heavily. He then kisses Kaoru on the cheek, thinking it’d be too much for him to handle if he does it on the lips. “You’re amazing, Kaoru-kun.” He whispers, his hand reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind the blonde’s ear. 

“Yeah…” He murmurs, before passing out.

The older boy then falls on his side. He turns his head to stare at Kaoru, who’s now deeply asleep. His head’s still a bit dizzy from alcohol but he isn’t the kind to get a hangover the next morning so he might remember everything, eventually. Maybe is it a vampire thing? He can’t realize what they’ve done yet but one thing is for sure, he has never, ever felt like this before. Kaoru’s regular breathing is the only sound filling the room. Rei stares at him, thinking he looks so vulnerable and innocent while asleep…and realizes how cute he actually is. He caresses his hair gently, then his face with the back of his hand. For some reason, he feels the need to make him his and protect him. He's never realized how much his friend's been through and feels a bit guilty that he didn't notice it sooner. His eyelids begin to feel heavy and the vampire slowly falls into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aha get rekt kaoru


	4. Chapter 4

A freezing breeze whistles in Kaoru’s ears. He opens his eyes to the bright morning sunlight streaming through the open window. An intense headache hits him as he tries to get up on his elbows. Rubbing his temples, he looks around and notices that he doesn’t recognize the place. 

“Where am I?” He mumbles.

His eyes close shut again, blinded by the sun. For some reason, his body feels really uncomfortable and sticky. He touches around, looking desperately for a water bottle to ease the pain. He gives up after a few seconds and tries reaching for his phone that is nowhere to be found. His mind is fuzzy, filled with some remnants of that weird dream he had last night (more like a nightmare), of he and Rei doing lewd stuff together while being drunk.

 _“Super gross, glad I woke up.”_ He cringes.

His hands keep wandering around the sheets when he suddenly feels something moving. He touches it again to be sure. _“What the fuck”_ His eyes widen and his jaw drops. Sakuma Rei is sleeping right next to him and is, apparently, naked (No way he’d check under the blanket). He looks at himself and realizes he’s as naked as well. He hides in face in horror. _“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the f-“._ He immediately jumps out of bed, grabbing the sheets to cover his lower body. He can’t believe what he’s looking at, feeling confused and completely lost. He wonders what on earth happened but also refuses to know a single detail. He’s in panic, blaming his stupid drunk self and swearing to god he’s never touching a single drop of alcohol ever again.  
He looks around in order to find his clothes, only to see that they’re mixed with Rei’s. The situation gets worse with each glance. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, convinced that he still hasn't woken up from this terrible nightmare. He can’t remember anything after coming into this room, no matter how much he digs into his memories. He then rushes to pick up his clothes, hoping that he can leave before the other boy wakes up.  
  
After a few seconds, the blonde hears a few mumbles and the sound of someone moving around the bed. _“Please, don’t wake u-“_

 _“_ Mm,nn~ Morning, Kaoru-kun.” The older boy rubs his eye with a yawn.

_“God damn it.”_

“May I know where you are going? Do you have an important matter to take care of, perhaps?”

Kaoru turns around violently, “WHAT THE FUCK, SAKUMA-SAN.”

Rei tilts his head, gazing at the other boy with a confused expression on his face. Oh, right. It takes him a few seconds to gather his thoughts and remember what happened last night. He remembers everything, every single detail and can’t help but find the situation quite amusing. Kaoru is standing in front of him, hiding his naked body and blushing out of embarrassment. It’s hard for him to keep a straight face and not laugh out loud.

“Are you in such a hurry you can’t eat breakfast?”

“I’M LEAVING.”

He quickly dresses up, picks up his phone and stuff before slamming the door shut, leaving Rei alone and grinning at the scene.

* * *

  
Kaoru opens the front door quietly, praying the high heavens that no one’s home. He needs some time _alone_ and it isn’t the time to get lectured by his father again. Actually, it’s never the time to get lectured anyway. Much to his relief, everyone seems away. He sighs, removes his shoes and goes to his room. He throws himself on the bed, burying his face in a pillow.

The blonde lets out a long and desperate groan, _“What did I do to deserve this”_. His thoughts are still messy and confused. He hugs the pillow while rolling around. _“This can’t be real, I swear this is a nightmare and I still haven't woken up.”_ He shakes his head then pinches himself really hard. _“Ouch! Fuck, this isn’t a dream.”_

Despite not recalling anything from that night, he does know how good he felt when he woke up this morning. For some reason, it was a great feeling (except that sticky sensation). He closes his eyes, trying to remember at least one thing from what seems like the most embarrassing moment of his whole life. Impossible. He refuses to believe what happened (if what he thinks happened turns out to be true, that is) and as much as he wants to pretend like nothing happened, he just can’t stop tormenting himself with it. Waking up next to a naked guy while being naked himself is the worst thing he could ever imagine and here it is, reality hitting him really hard when he expects it the least. _Great.  
_ Kaoru doesn’t want to bother with this any more and decides to text the person concerned.

> **Kaoru** ♪♥ (10:56am)  
>  PLEASE I’m begging u tell me that we didn’t do what I think we did
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (10:56am)  
>  Wat
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (10:57am)  
>  do Yo
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (10:57am)  
>  u
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (10:58am)  
>  think
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (10:59am)  
>  weDid
> 
> **Kaoru** ♪♥ (10:59am)  
>  I’m going to kill you
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:01am)  
>  wwwwwwwwww
> 
> **Kaoru** ♪♥ (11:02am)  
>  u better not tell anyone and forget this for ur whole life
> 
> **Kaoru** ♪♥ (11:02am)  
>  Actually just forget I even exist tbh
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:02am)  
>  Wht
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:03am)  
>  does tbh  
>  mean
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:03am)  
>  ???
> 
> **Kaoru** ♪♥ (11:03am)  
>  WHATEVER, SAKUMA-SAN.
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:04am)  
>  Also, How
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:07am)  
>  could i possbly forgetyou? Were in the
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:08am)  
>  same unit
> 
> **Kaoru** ♪♥ (11:08am)  
>  Just…forget it. gdi.
> 
> **Rei** ✝ _sent a voice message_ (11:10am) _  
> _ “It’s still quite difficult for me to get used to all this technology, how unfortunate. (sighs) Also, Kaoru-kun. It’s impossible to forget something so memorable, isn’t it? As a close friend of mine would say, it was “Amazing!”. You should admit it too. Let’s have fun again soon~”

Kaoru clicks his tongue, throwing his phone on his bed. Does Rei really believe he’d admit something as ridiculous? No way, not in a million years. He decides to take a shower to ease his mind (as well as to get rid of this uncomfortable sensation in his body).  
  
Ten minutes later, he comes back to his room, a towel around his neck. He sits on his bed and sees that Rei sent him another message.

> **Rei** ✝ (11:13am)  
>  Dont  
>  worry, we didnt do anythng more
> 
> **Rei** ✝ (11:14am)  
>  youre still a virgin.

Kaoru throws his phone across the room.

* * *

  
Kaoru’s spent the entire weekend thinking about _that night_. Added to this, his father didn’t stop lecturing him for no valid reason again. With each passing day, the old man becomes more and more irritating as graduation’s right around the corner. He doesn’t even have time to eat breakfast that his father has already started his life lesson first thing in the morning.

"Kaoru. I'd greatly appreciate if you could stop with these useless idol activities and focus more on your future. Being an idol won't lead you anywhere so you better start studying for universities' entrance exams instead of just playing around like an ignorant fool."

The blonde doesn’t want to listen to him anymore and decides to leave the house earlier than expected, his father still shouting in the background. His older siblings have both left the house quite a while ago so the atmosphere's been even harder to endure. He walks towards the school and finds himself lost in his thoughts. Of course he trusts Rei's words, he has no reason to lie to him and it's not a part of his personality, anyway. Yet, Kaoru's confused; about what happened, about what he should do next and especially about his sexuality. He's obviously straight. Obviously. Right? He is. There's no way Hakaze Kaoru would do this kind of things with a guy. But then again, maybe no one can be 100% heterosexual...

 _"Okay then on a sexuality scale I'm definitely 99.9% hetero!!"_ He thinks _. "Does it mean...that... Sakuma-san's the 0.1% left... Gaaah I don't know man, I suck at math."_

His head becomes messy and he doesn't even know how he feels anymore. A part of him wants to avoid Rei as much as possible but another part of him wants more. But more of what, exactly?

 _"There's no way I woke up with that great feeling because of what we did. Pretty sure I dreamed of doing lewd stuff with a super hot chick and just forgot it in the morning...Yeah, that's it."_ He says in a proud tone, "No fucking way I felt this good because of Sakuma-san HA HA Ha! Gross."

"Good morning, Kaoru-kun. I didn't know you were the type to talk to yourself."

The blonde jumps, "S-Sakuma-san what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Hm going to school, perhaps? Oh that's right, attending school isn't your forte, is it? "

"W-well it doesn't hurt to be serious once in a while, okay? Anyway, Sakuma-san, I must go. I'm gonna be late. Bye!" He runs.

Rei raises an eyebrow, "...You're twenty minutes early."  
 

* * *

  
Time drags on and it feels like each day's a pain in the ass.  As usual, Kaoru would go on dates around downtown before coming back home after dinnertime. As if avoiding his family isn't enough already, he has to avoid Rei as well. School has stopped becoming a place where he can be free and escape from his house. On top of that, another problem surfaces. A huge problem, more like a curse. Kaoru can't enjoy his dates anymore. It's become impossible for him to listen to these girls talking about their days and hobbies, impossible for him to use cheesy pick-up lines, impossible to even _focus_ on those girls anymore. Not only this, but it's also become impossible for him to masturbate to girls, no matter how hard he tries and how many adult videos he watches. He feels like he'd go crazy if this continues as he keeps tormenting himself with the same thoughts again and over again. All his dates so far have been so forced, it's been rather to kill time and to distract his mind than anything else. Why ? Because Rei keeps appearing everywhere he lays eyes on. On the girl's face, on the waiter's face, on every single passerby's face, even on commercials... _Everywhere_. Rei is everywhere. No matter where he goes, no matter what he looks at. He'd rather go home early and endure his dad's lectures than spend his day being possessed by the thoughts of another guy (Ok, maybe not).  
In other words, he's been restless ever since. He doesn't feel at ease at home, nor in downtown and even less at school. The only place he feels relaxed in is his clubroom. Indeed, he's been going to the Marine Club every day, much to Souma's surprise (and annoyance). He doesn't want to go home right after school and actually feels at ease there. Kanata and Souma's presence actually makes him forget his confused thoughts he's been having these past few days. As much as he wanted to become serious, he can't bring himself to attend practice and end up skipping them all again. 

"Puka, puka...♪ Oh, my. Hello, Kaoru." Kanata interrupts his train of thoughts.

"Oh hey, Kanata-kun."

"Is there "something" you need? "Kaoru" looks a little sad."

"Me? Haha, no way. Being here feels nice, actually. I'm not sad."

"It doesn't feel like you're very "happy" either, Kaoru. It's "rare" to see you so often with us."

"Mm Don't worry about it, okay? I don't really like being worried about by people."

"After all, we're all friends who were born on the same "planet"! We're a "family", born from "Mother Sea"! Puka, puka....♪"

Kaoru doesn't reply. Somehow, he feels like telling Kanata everything. For some reason, he feels like he's the only person he can talk about it with. Souma would probably threaten him with his katana, as always, and asking advice from an underclassman would hurt his ego anyway.

He clears his throat, "Hm, Kanata-kun. Can I talk to you about something?"

"Go ahead, go ahead ♪ Were you "rejected" by a girl ?"

"Wow, that's a little vulgar coming from you, Kanata-kun."

"Kaoru. You only think about "girls" most of the time anyway, don't you?"

"Aw~ Don't talk about somebody like they're in mating season all year round. Anyways, hum...You see..." He runs a hand on his neck. "I...got into a pretty unfortunate situation."

"Did you do something "illegal"~ ?" He smiles.

"Eeh, no?" He pauses for a few seconds. "Wait, I actually did but it's not the main issue here."

"Is that so~ What kind of "issue" could be even worse than something "illegal"?"

"Well, I drank alcohol. And...I got drunk...and...shit happened, you see." He looks away.

"Were you "alone", Kaoru?"

"Aha well, no."

"Were you with a "girl", then?"

Kaoru starts sweating, "N-not really...I was..with..." He paused, then whispers. "S-sakuma-san."

"Hm? Sorry, I didn't hear your "voice"."

He repeats, a bit louder, "S-sakuma-san...Damn it."

"Oh, Rei... My old "friend"...I'm "happy" to hear you two get along so well~"

"Ahaha I guess ?" He laughs nervously. "Well, we both got drunk and...got closer. I mean, I never wanted that, okay? I was drunk, reaaaaaally drunk, I had no control over my body anymore, okay? Aaaaah what a pain."

"It's "nice" to get along and "cuddle"...♪ Unlike "fish", we are "warm-blooded animals". If one is "cold" or "in pain", let's give each other some "warmth"... ♪"

"Mmm, you oddball. I don't really get it. But we...actually did more than just "cuddling", you see." He pauses. "Like...When I woke up, I didn't remember anything and we were both naked in Sakuma-san's bed...Oh, man." He hides his face in his hands. "What sucks even more is that I can't even go on dates anymore, I can't do anything with girls anymore, I just keep thinking about that night and I keep thinking about Sakuma-san, I keep seeing him everywhere and I've been avoiding him this whole week and I know this is so selfish because Undead have so many performances coming up but I just can't bring myself to go. I'm straight, alright? I like girls, I don't like dudes. I don't want to get along with dudes, I just..."

"There, there...♪" Kanata pats his head to calm him down.

"Huh, what? Why are you patting my head? It's not like I'd be happy about getting headpats from a guy...Geez. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Yes, I understand." He keeps patting.

"Do you really, though?"

Kanata nods. "Fufu, Kaoru is my "friend." Because we're "friends", I understand very well what you're thinking~ ♪"

"Ahaha, Kanata-kun, you're really interesting, huh~?"

Kanata stays silent for a little while before giving some advice to his friend. He associates them with fish and sea and Kaoru doesn't really get what he means most of the time but his presence alone puts him at ease. Being patted on the head's actually very relaxing, especially coming from Kanata. The latter tells him that he should be strong and that he shouldn't let the waves get the better of him.

"It's delicious to eat "fish" with everyone, but it's even more delicious to eat "fish" with only two people, I'm sure...♪ "

The blonde tilts his head in confusion. It takes several minutes for him to understand what his friend meant. He's not even sure if he gets it entirely. Talking with him really helps a lot, though, and he feels like he's just got rid of a huge burden. Kaoru decides to stop running away from his problems like a coward and face them. He can't allow himself to skip practices even more and selfishly bring his unit down. He already feels selfish enough toward his sister and doesn't want to be a burden for all the people he cares about.

_"I know I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm straight. I like girls, not dudes. There's no point in thinking about it any further. I should focus on what really matters and I'll forget about all this, eventually."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i had a lot of fun writing the line convo (yes i've decided they all have line as well as an undead line groupchat)  
> hope you like this chapter and thank you again for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are smut chapters always the longest

"One, Two, Three, Four. One, Two, Three, Four. Yeah, that's it."

Rei's helping Koga practice some steps of their new choreography. As Undead's leader, he has to supervise his members' work. Their moves are usually good, but not accurate enough. He has a deep trust in them and furthermore, Koga is hardworking. No need for him to worry, he's pretty sure it'll look perfect on the performance day.  
However, he's been thinking a lot, lately. As usual, he doesn't show anything on his face, not a single sign of frustration or concern. He stays focused on what he has to do and it's hard to tell if anything actually annoys him. It doesn't mean that nothing bothers him, though. Indeed, he's been confused and quite disappointed in Kaoru's behavior. He thought that his drinking time with him would work and make him change, but apparently not. He wants to text him and ask if something's wrong but can't help but tease him at the same time: it's way too amusing not to. He assumes that the blonde must be confused about his sexuality, just like he was. Even though he's always suspected himself of liking guys, he's never really thought about it any further. It's from the moment spent with Kaoru that he knew that _yes_ , he's definitely gay. He understands that in the other boy's case, it must be even more difficult to admit it to himself, given how categorical he's always been about his sexuality. Of course, he can be bisexual or actually heterosexual as well, this only night doesn't prove anything. Yet, Rei still has a hunch that Kaoru isn't as straight as he claims to be.  
The vampire takes his phone to text the missing member while Koga and Adonis keep practicing together. They're both too focused to comment on his absence, anyway. He frowns, trying to figure out how to send a text message when he hears the door open.

"Heyyyyy!"

He turns around. It's Kaoru...Surprisingly, the last person he expected to see here.

"Huh?? Haven't seen your face for the whole week and you suddenly show up at this hour?" Koga snaps.

"Better showing up late than never, huh?"

"Welcome back, Hakaze-senpai." Adonis bows.

"Oh my, Kaoru-kun. What a surprise to see you here." Rei smiles.

"Oi oi, all this attention is a bit overwhelming. I wouldn't mind if it was from girls, but..."

He stops talking, as he notices Rei staring at him, still smiling. His head suddenly fills with regrets and he wants to leave this place as soon as possible but...he can't. He can't be selfish anymore. He knows he has to take everything more seriously, not only for his own wellbeing but also for people he cares about. He can't just run away like a coward every time something displeases him.

"Fufufu. Shall we get back to practice, then? Now that Kaoru-kun has joined us, I'm sure everything will go smoothly." Rei claps his hands. "Kaoru-kun. I shall show you our new dance choreography, so come over here."

Kaoru sighs, relieved that the older boy doesn't tease him about that night in front of everyone. It'd be the worst scenario ever, honestly. He follows Rei's moves with his eyes, paying attention to every single move and memorizing them one by one. He's been blessed with a good memory, which is why he has never failed to deliver good performances despite skipping most of Undead's practices. The blonde then stares at Rei's face. The latter is focused and doesn't let his eyes off the mirror. He's counting his steps, showing them with great precision. Undead's been practicing for more than an hour before Kaoru arrives, so Rei's drenched in sweat. It's rare to see him like this, as he's usually not as energetic, which means he must've been giving his all today. Kaoru catches himself thinking that Rei looks incredibly hot with his serious face, moving in such an elegant way. _"I'm no match for him."_ He swallows, perfectly aware that he's lost all focus now. His eyes rove the older boy's face, from his eyes to his lips, as well as the drop of sweat rolling down his temple to his chin.

"...Kaoru-kun?"

He gives his head a hard shake, _“What the hell am I thinking?"_. He replies awkwardly, "Y-Yeah, Sakuma-san?"

"I said, did you assimilate all the steps I've showed you? Or perhaps, do you want me to do it again?" He puts his hands on his hips, breathing heavily.

"Ah no no no, no need to, it's fine. Thanks..." He rubs his neck, looking away.

It only takes a little while for Kaoru to assimilate the whole choreography. He's always been a talented one, as well as a quick learner. He's been completely confident in his skills, relying on his natural talent rather than hard work and he's never been aware that it might blow up in his face someday. Actually, the only thing he needs in order to do everything perfectly is motivation. Without motivation, he's no better than anyone else. Being part of Undead makes him realize, little by little, that hard work pays off. Seeing Koga so hardworking in his idol activities, Adonis trying hard in understanding Japanese culture...he's surrounded by people who are all so different from him and yet, they're actually the ones teaching him something new.  
Kaoru glances at Rei while dancing. The latter's crouching against the wall, staring at him with his usual smile.

It catches him off guard and he misses a beat. _"Stop this"_ , he thinks.

He takes a few gulps of water then grabs a towel to dry the sweat on his forehead. He glances at the other boy once again: he still hasn't moved an inch. Damn it.

 _"Man, this is awkward and embarrassing. I should just focus._ " He continues practicing with Adonis, while Koga takes a break to talk with their leader.

Suddenly, his head starts filling up with random moments from the other night. Rei all over his body, Rei stroking his cock so gently, Rei blowing him off, Rei kissing his cheek. All those thoughts make him go crazy and despite waking up with a terrible headache, he can't deny the fact that it felt incredibly good...and that maybe, he wants to do it again... _Maybe_.

He shakes his head. " _Never again_."

* * *

  
  
"Let us go home together today, Kaoru-kun."

Kaoru's eyes widen, dropping his water bottle while in the middle of packing up his stuff. "Huh?"

Rei repeats, "I said let us go home together today, Kaoru-kun. You aren't getting so old as having hearing issues, are you?"

The blonde slightly opens his mouth, unable to utter anything. Rei raises an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. He has no choice but to agree since they take the same way, anyway.

"O....kay?"

The older boy smiles, "Good."

Rei's surprisingly talkative, as he's the only one talking on their way home. He keeps praising Koga and Adonis for their hard work, saying that "his beloved children have grown up well". Kaoru doesn't know what to say and nods in a smile. Neither of them says anything. This situation seems too familiar and it's awkward.

"I am delighted that you came to practice today, Kaoru-kun." He breaks the silence.  
  
The blonde turns his head. Again, he has nothing to say to this and thinks hard for a reply. They walk in silence for a few minutes and Kaoru has a feeling of déjà vu. Why is it always like this every time he's alone with Rei? Why can't he just forget it like Rei did? (he didn't) It seems so easy yet impossible for him to do so. It's been a week already, why can't he just get over it? Flashbacks won't stop invading his head and it becomes all messy again. By the time he pulls himself together, they've already reached the Sakumas' house.

"Well..." Rei starts.

"Isn't your family home?" Kaoru asks out of the blue. He himself doesn't even know why he did.

"It's Friday. No one is home."

"Oh, right."

Rei notices that the other boy doesn't seem like he's going to move. "You...You do have plans with some girl tonight, I suppose, Kaoru-kun?"

The blonde chuckles, "Naaah...Honestly, it's been a bit hard to enjoy my dates lately. Dunno why." He looks away. "Hum, I was thinking..." he scratches the cheek with his index finger, "do you still have alcohol?"

Rei smirks, "Hm, Why? Would you like to share a drink with me?"

"Maybe?" He pauses. "I don't feel like going home and meet my family so..."

 _"Why did I say that."_ Killing some more time with someone wouldn't be a problem, if only this someone wasn't Sakuma Rei. He feels conflicted...as if an angel and a devil version of him are yelling in each of his ears, _"Don't go, you're going to live in regrets forever"_ , _"Just go and enjoy your youth!"_. The devil him seems to have kicked out the angel him and temptation takes over his mind. He's going to regret it so much; he definitely knows it, yet he can't turn back. This feeling seems awfully familiar...Again. Deep inside, he actually _wishes_ for Rei to invite him, he knows it. Now the question is, when will he admit it to himself and stop living in denial?

"After you." Rei says after opening the door.

Rei knows. He perfectly knows what's going on in Kaoru's head, he can feel it. It's obvious that the latter uses his family as an excuse now and he finds this turn of events very amusing. He forces himself not to tease the other boy too much, even though it's _really_ tempting. He takes a few bottles of beer and wine like he did last time his friend came over. Again, they both go in his room to drink, while talking about random topics. Thanks to alcohol, Kaoru becomes more talkative than earlier and Rei notices that he also drinks less and slower than last time.

"Anywaaaayyyyyyy Sakuma-saaaaaan thanks for inviting meeeeee!!" He lies on the bed.

"You're very welcome, Kaoru-kun."

Rei can definitely tell where all this will lead to and he actually wishes that Kaoru would be sober if they end up doing it.

 _"Guess it'll be for another time."_ He glances at the other boy who's staring intensely at his glass. Kaoru has drunk enough to be tipsy and have an excuse for what's going to happen but also not enough to actually forget everything, this time. He'd rather _pretend_ to be drunk than admit that he wants to have his way with Rei. It won't happen, never in a lifetime.

 _"It's okay..I'm drunk...It's okay...I'm definitely drunk."_ He takes a sip from his glass. _"Shit like this happened with once before, after all....Right...As long as we don't kiss....It's fine."_ He takes another sip. _"Giving each other pleasure is normal..we're friends, right? Right."_

He glances at Rei and notices that the latter is staring at him. Isn't it like the third time today?

"What?" He asks.

"Are you drunk, Kaoru-kun?"

"Yeaaaaaah."

Rei sighs, "what a pity."

 _"Huh?"_ He clears his throat, "What do you meaaaan?"

The older boy doesn't answer right away. He's putting a straight face on the outside but is smirking really hard on the inside, truly amused. He isn't dumb and has already figured out Kaoru's little game. He decides to play along with him.

"You will undoubtedly forget everything in the morning, I suppose?"

Kaoru gulps, "I-it's a dreaaaaam right? I always remember my dreams, Sakuma-saaaan, no worries!"

"Oya? Is that so?"

"Yeeaah...."

"So? What would you like to do in this dream of yours?" He says while getting closer.

The blonde looks away, "I don't..know?"

"You don't know?" He's now only a few inches away from the other boy's face.

"Y-yeah..."

"You really, really don't?" He gets even closer.

"Hm, yes?"

He moves away, "Well...this is unfortunate," then takes a sip of wine.

Kaoru's eyes widen and his mouth slightly opens. It's been a long time since he last felt this frustrated. He doesn't even know why, he just does. His thoughts become confused and he has no idea of what he really wants at the moment. A part of him wishes that Rei would...

"Kiss me." He says in a whisper.

Rei turns around and raises an eyebrow. "Pardon me?"

"Nothing? Nothing!!" He laughs nervously. "Noooothing Sakuma-san!"

"You surely didn't forget that I'm a vampire, yes? Therefore, I can hear everything, Kaoru-kun. But ...I'm an old man, you see. I didn't hear it very well. Could you perhaps say it again for me?"

"Please, Sakuma-san. You're not as old as you pretend to be..." He avoids the other boy's gaze.

"Please? Be a good boy, Kaoru-kun." He smirks while getting closer to lift the blonde's chin up with his index finger.

"I really...didn't say anything..."

"Lying is bad."

"I'm not lying!!" He exclaims with a red face.

"Oh ho?"

Kaoru lowers his gaze to see Rei's hand dangerously cupping his crotch, his palm stroking and pressing into it.

"Say it again, Kaoru-kun." His other hand travels down from the other boy's chest and down his stomach, prizing a soft moan from him.

"I said...I said....Touch me..."

"You definitely don't want to repeat it, do you? How troublesome...but this will do. Your order is my command."

Rei proceeds to spread his friend's jacket and shirt then gently kisses his chest, his hand now slipping into his pants. Kaoru feels his cock twitch, causing him to groan into the pillow.

_"Shit."_

His breathing increases in intensity, his head tossed back against the pillow as Rei gets rid of his pants and boxers. His lips part when he feels the older boy's little kisses on his shaft. His body's already reacting to his touch and he doesn't even need to look at him to know that the older boy is having way too much fun seeing him like this.

"Should we go further today, Kaoru-kun?" Rei asks, before licking his length.

He realizes that it's too late for regrets and decides to go with it. No one will know that he isn't drunk; he can just keep pretending that all this happened because of alcohol. No one will know that he actually _likes_ it, no one will know that he actually _desires_  more.

_"Well, fuck it."_

Even though he's only admitted to himself just now how much he likes being touched by him, he desperately feels the need to touch him as well.

_"_ _It's just a dream."_

"Sakuma-san...Can you...remove your clothes, please? It's kinda embarrassing to be like this while you're still fully dressed..."

"Would you mind doing it for me?" He says, as he stops what he's doing to sit next to him. He then taps on his lap with his hands, inviting the other boy to come on top of him.

Kaoru doesn't answer and slowly straddle the older boy's lap. He then proceeds to clumsily unbutton his shirt before splaying his hands across his pale chest. As they descend to unzip his pants, he can feel Rei's growing bulge against his half-hard dick. He's unable to express his current feeling into words. Is it pride? Happiness? Maybe both? He has no idea. He can't help but stare at how perfect the boy facing him looks. His wavy black hair, his red eyes, his thin lips...He's realized how much he turns him on.  
Rei notices that Kaoru has stopped moving for a few seconds and helps him by moving the blonde's hands to the waistband of his boxers, yanking them down as he lift his hips to pull his cock out. It's as hard as Kaoru's and he starts rubbing them together.

"Good job, Kaoru-kun." He smirks. "Do you want to give it a try?" He takes the blonde's hand and brings it to his shaft. "You know where the good spots are, yes?" He takes his face in his hands and pecks him on the cheek, making him blush intensely. "How cute."

Kaoru clicks his tongue, "Stop talking to me as if I was some girl...It's embarrassing."

"Cuteness has nothing to do with gender, though. Hurry up, hurry up! I'm getting quite impatient, here. I'm leaving my body in your hands, Kaoru-kun. I'm sure you're the one who'll make me feel the best."

"Huh? So I'm not getting anything in return?"

"Take care of me first and you'll get a reward for being a good boy ♪" He wraps his arms around his waist, kissing his chest.

Kaoru lets out a frustrated sigh, before moving his hand on Rei's dick. After a few seconds, he tightens his grip around it, pumping faster and faster. It gives him an intense feeling of satisfaction to see that Rei has closed his eyes to enjoy the sensation even more as his head falls back against the wall. He lets out a heavy breath laced with a small moan of pleasure, which gives Kaoru an excitement he's never felt before. The more he hears Rei's voice, the more he wants to please him. He presses his thumb into the older boy's slit, rolling it then stroking up and down. He hasn't noticed that he's brought his other hand to do the same with his own cock.

"How lewd of you, Kaoru-kun..."

Rei's staring at his moves. He's staring. He's staring with this annoying smirk of his. That smirk showing how condescending he can be sometimes, that smirk that makes him so incredibly hot and charming, Kaoru doesn't even know if he hates it or loves it...But the fact that he's being watched by such an attractive being gives him small shocks of pleasure, causing him to moan even more. Their heavy breaths are mixed together and Kaoru's about to come when Rei suddenly interrupts him by pushing him on the bed. His hands are now pinned up above his head, with Rei on top of him.

"What are you..."

"Shhht." He puts his index finger on the other boy's lips. "This is your reward." 

Rei starts sucking one of Kaoru's nipples into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the nub. His hips move on their own accord, rubbing himself against the blonde. He does the same with the other nipple then glances at Kaoru, whose eyes are closed.

"Geez, I was so close..." He breathes out.

"I know."

"You're unfair, Sakuma-san."

"Fufufu ♪"

While one hand is still grasping Kaoru's wrists, he uses the other one to reach his bedside drawer and pull out a little bottle.

He kisses his forehead, "Be kind and stay still, Kaoru-kun.", then his cheek, before letting go off his hands. He puts his hair into a ponytail then moves back a little bit to position himself in front of Kaoru's entrance, while pouring some lube onto his fingers and rubbing them together. He brings them to his hole, caressing it gently then presses his index finger against it. One little pressure is enough to make Kaoru's back arch and his eyes widen in fear.

He shouts, "What the hell are you doing, Sakuma-san?"

"As I said, I’m giving you your reward, Kaoru-kun." He says before thrusting one finger in.

"S-Sakuma-san." He groans loudly, his legs trembling.

Rei adds a second finger while keeping the move, scissoring and curling them, stretching Kaoru open and making his dick even harder with each thrust. He brings his other hand to stroke his partner's cock wet with precum. Kaoru cries out while grasping the sheets as if his life depends on it as Rei hits a sensitive spot. His back arches again and tears have started to form in the corner of his eyes.

"Makes me come," Kaoru begs. "Please." He doesn't care about anything else right now, all he wants is to come and feel good, no matter what it takes.

Rei chuckles, overly satisfied with this sight. Seeing him so vulnerable makes him melt inside every single time. He likes admiring his beautiful face crying in pleasure, he likes feeling like he's _needed_. He lowers his face to suck Kaoru's neck, biting down into the skin and making sure to leave a mark. The blonde's loud whines tickle his ear, turning him on in a way he's never felt before. Kaoru's staring intensely at him with such begging eyes that he can't resist...teasing him a bit more.  
Rei positions his hard cock in front of Kaoru's entrance, pressing and rubbing the tip against it just like he did with his finger a few minutes ago. He glances at the blonde who seems to have completely lost himself, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. His moans and breathing increase in volume as he starts touching himself and jerking himself off. 

Rei stops his hand straight away. "You are not allowed to do this, Kaoru-kun."

"Y-You..You are the worst, Sakuma-san."

"Really?" He rubs his tip against Kaoru's asshole even harder. "I am?"

"S-Sakuma..san." He whines.

"Trust me, Kaoru-kun. I'll make you feel good. Please be patient."

Kaoru breathes heavily. He terribly wants Rei to kiss his lips but holds himself back really hard _. "Kissing is the gayest shit that could happen...This, and having that...thing...in."_

Yet, he feels like he wants both to happen, right there and right now. Being teased like this only makes him even more desperate but he can't bring himself to admit it and be humiliated even more than he already is.  
Rei's totally aware and finds a lot of amusement in this. He decides to push it further, until the other boy reaches his limit. He proceeds to kiss every single part of his face, neck and chest, avoiding his lips. Kaoru's whines sound so hopeless he can't help but laugh inside.

"Is something wrong, Kaoru-kun?" He pecks him on the cheek. "Do you need anything?" He kisses his nose, "A request?", then the corner of his lips.

Kaoru's burning inside. He feels like dying. Never in his life has he felt so miserable in front of someone. Even worse, never in his life has he begged someone like this. At this moment, he'd give _a lot_ to feel pleasure and finally come.

"You still have a lot of alcohol in your system, don't you? Didn't you say earlier that this is a dream? Therefore, you can ask anything you want and do whatever you want, yes? Everything will disappear when you wake up, am I right?"

The blonde's eyes widen. Yes, he's right. He's totally right. He has completely forgotten that he's supposed to pretend to be drunk and he feels blessed that Rei fell for it (or rather, he _thought_ he did). He decides to take this opportunity to get what he wants.

"I want...Sakuma-san...to.....make me feel gooooood.....and kiss me." He says in a whisper, avoiding the other boy's gaze as much as possible.

A huge grin of satisfaction appears on Rei's face. He's delighted that Kaoru has finally let go of his pride and his no-homo side, even though it's only for one night. However, he doesn't plan to stop there.

"Hm? What did you say, Kaoru-kun? I didn't hear you...Please speak a bit louder for an old man such as me." He lies.

Kaoru frowns, totally ashamed of himself. "I..."

"You?"

"I WANT YOU TO KISS ME AND FUCK ME SO HARD I BECOME HOMO, FUCK YOU SAKUMA-SAN."

He smirks, "As you wish."

Rei holds Kaoru's face into his hands and gently kisses his lips. Their eyes meet for the first time tonight and they stare at each other for a few seconds. 

_"It's just a dream."_

Kaoru pulls his friend down to kiss him roughly. Their lips part, letting their tongues meet and tangle together. It's the most passionate kiss he's ever had and he's surprised that the act is no different from doing it with a girl...yet, it feels so much better. They're both lost in each other now, their minds have become blank and their bodies only yearn for more. The only sound in the room is the soft slaps of their lips, mixed with their small moans. They're both panting, only breaking their kisses to take some air, before connecting their lips again and again.  
Rei then continues kissing Kaoru's neck, marking him again, while the latter runs a hand through his hair. 

He pants. "Fuck me."

Rei waits not more and kisses the blonde one last time before gripping at his hips. He jerks himself off a few more times then pushes the tip in, causing Kaoru to cry out in pain. The older boy brings his other hand to his cheek as a sign that it's going to be alright. He wants his friend to be at ease and to know that he's not alone, that he's going to feel pleasure really soon. His thumb caresses his cheek as he slowly enters him.  
Kaoru jolts as a sharp pain runs throughout his whole body. Never in his life has he felt so uncomfortable, he can't understand how he literally begged for it only a few minutes ago because it seems like torture to him. His hands tighten the sheets and he wants to stop right there but Rei's hand on his cheek reassures him a lot, for some reason. His touch is soft and comforting.

He kisses the blonde's lips. "Hold on to me."

Kaoru splays his trembling hands across Rei's back, digging his fingers into it. The latter grimaces in pain, panting hard and trying to focus on what he has to do. He pushes even further and Kaoru feels Rei's whole length filling him, making him gasp and tighten his embrace. The older boy kisses the corner of his eye as a single tear rolls down his face.

"I'm going to move."

Kaoru nods, unable to utter a single word because of the intense pain. He feels his body tearing apart from the inside. _"Fuck."_

Rei starts moving slowly, his mouth falling open in a chocked moan. It feels amazing. Chills run down his spine and make him push even deeper, causing Kaoru to cry and whine with each thrust. The latter breathes out, tilting his head back against the pillow and feeling each move hitting him.

"Ah, Rei! Rei!" He breathes out in a soft groan.

Rei stops moving and his eyes widen in disbelief. Kaoru's said his first name again and he can feel his heart racing. This is probably what turns him on the most, and he moves faster and faster, hitting the same soft spot that earlier. He leans down and presses his lips against Kaoru's as he slams into him so hard that the blonde jolts up the bed. Kaoru feels his stomach tightening up, sign that he's close. He pants heavily into Rei's mouth, breathing his first name laced with every moan. An intense wave of pleasure sends him over the edge, making him jerk upwards as he comes over their torsos. He doesn't let go of his friend, who comes inside him a few second later. Rei lets himself fall down onto Kaoru, lying on top of him and panting heavily.

"I told you I'd make you feel good..." Rei breathes out.

No answer. He can only hear the sound of Kaoru's steady breathing as well as his heart beating. He lifts his head to look at him: he's passed out. Again. The older boy chuckles before rolling over onto his back, next to his partner. He settles himself into a more comfortable position and pulls the sheet over them both. A big grin appears on his face; he's convinced that this time won't be their last.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters are getting longer and longer lmao...though it's mostly dialogues (i kinda feel bad about this btw)  
> thank you so much for reading and for all the kudos!! It gives me so much motivation and makes me grin like an idiot every time...

Kaoru doesn't know how long it's been since he last felt this good. Thinking back, he can't believe that a whole month has already passed. He's been to school and club activities every day, as well as to all of Undead's practices. Moreover, he's finally been able to enjoy his dates like he used to. Even though his family issues haven't changed at all, he feels much better about himself since he's learned to be a serious person thanks to everyone around him: his fellow members, his club members, his classmates...and girls (of course).

"Thank you for the treat, Kaoru-chan~ This cheesecake was delicious."  
  
"No problem. As I said, I'll be your prince for today." He bows his head. "Happy birthday Naomi-chan~"  
  
"Do you have any plans for tonight? Let's go together somewhere after this too! We've seen each other less and less lately..."  
  
"Sure thing! And yeah, I've been kinda busy with school and idol stuff, you see...I can be serious from time to time too.! By the way, I know a very nice karaoké nearby. It's been a while since I last went there." 

Last time was actually with his Undead members. He remembers how fun it was and kind of wants to do it again. He thinks that he should suggest it in the Line groupchat some time later.  
Suddenly, his phone rings. It's Rei. He decides not to pick up, thinking that it must be something futile again. The older boy would sometimes call him only to talk about fun facts or asking questions about technology.  
After a few seconds, it rings again.

"Aren't you going to pick up, Kaoru-chan? Maybe it's important."  
  
"Naaah~ It's fine, it's fine." He waves. "Let's get going."  
  
"Ok!" She smiles and clings to his arm. 

They leave the café, smiling at each other. Naomi says she wants to go shopping for a new dress so Kaoru accepts to help her choose one. It reminds him of that other time he went to do the same with his sister, for her omiai. It didn't end well and he pulls a face thinking about that moment.

_"There's no reason it wouldn't go well, this time. It's just a dress. Relax."_

His phone starts ringing again. He huffs and rejects the call, once again. What the hell does he want, this time? It's been like this every single time he's on

"A date, Kaoru-kun?"

That voice makes him shudder. He turns around. 

"Sakuma-san...." He facepalms. "What...are you doing here...?"  
  
"Why aren't you answering my calls?"  
  
"As you've just pointed out, I'm busy."  
  
"Oh ho? Who is it, this time? Rin-chan? Kahoko-chan? Naomi-chan? Or..."  
  
"What's going on..." The girl seems lost.  
  
Kaoru jumps to cover Rei's mouth. "Ahahaha what are you saying, Sakuma-san? Spouting nonsense, as always...You've been feeling unwell, lately, right?"  
  
He nods, unable to speak clearly. He then removes the blonde's hand. "Yes, I've been feeling terrible. Please take care of me, Kaoru-kun." He moves toward the girl, getting closer and closer until their faces are only a few inches from each other. "What's your name, young miss?" He smiles.  
  
"N-Naomi. Shimizu Naomi." She seems frightened.  
  
"Naomi, hm? You're as beautiful as your name." He twists a lock of her hair between his fingers. "I wonder if your flesh is as delicious?"  
  
Kaoru violently drags him away by the arm. "I'm sorry, Naomi-chan. Let's just...postpone the karaoké. I'll text you."  
  
"Bye bye, Naomi-chan." Rei smiles while waving at her.

 

Kaoru drags the older boy to a back alley, where they can't be seen.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sakuma-san?"  
  
"Mm, I'm lonely, Kaoru-kun. You left quite early, this morning."  
  
"Well, I had plans...And you've just ruined everything. Once again."  
  
"My apologies. I didn't intend to make you mad~"  
  
"Are you being serious? Sakuma-san, it's literally the...third? Fourth time? Basically since we've started..."  
  
"Being sexfriends? Please do not misunderstand. This is only a mere coincidence."  
  
"Okay, then what is it, this time?" He raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms.  
  
"Let's do it again."  
  
"YOU...You... ruined my date _again_ only because you can't take care of your thirst by yourself?? Also, we just did it yesterday?? Geez, I'm done, Sakuma-san. I'm done." He takes his phone to text Naomi, hoping that she hasn't gone home yet.

Rei snatches his phone out of his hand and kisses him.

"Don't be mad." He pecks his cheek. "It isn't very cute." He pulls him into a deep kiss.  
  
At that moment, Kaoru hates himself for being unable to resist. "You're a real pain in the ass, Sakuma-san." He sighs.  
  
Rei smirks. "Literally or figuratively?"  


* * *

 

_(2 weeks ago)_

"Was it your first time?"  
  
"No."

Kaoru's eyes widen. As if being naked in another man's bed isn't enough, he learns that this other man has already had sex before.

"What about you, Kaoru-kun?"  
  
He blushes, turning his back to him. "You...don't need to know..."  
  
"Hm? Don't you think it's quite unfair from you to ask a question and not answer to mine? How rude."

Kaoru doesn't want to admit that Rei was his first time, ever. Sure, he's had some adventures with girls but it's never gone further than kissing and touching. He feels terribly ashamed and keeps telling himself that he's not gay and that "giving each other pleasure is normal between friends"...So normal that they end up doing it every Friday at Rei's house. They've also got the habit to go home together almost every day (when Kaoru doesn't have a date after school, though). Being with Rei makes him forget his concerns and even though he hasn't realized yet, the self-claimed vampire plays a big role in his change as a person.

"Who was your first? Do I know...them?"  
  
"Yes, you know him."

 _"So it's a He."_ Kaoru has always admired how Rei seems to be so sure of himself at all times. It's as if he doesn't have any weaknesses or any worries, as if nothing can reach him. Meanwhile, he's the one who constantly questions himself. _"What am I? Where am I going? Where do I belong?"_ He wishes he was like him instead of denying everything as if he was scared of something. But what is he scared of, exactly? He himself has no idea.

"You're surprisingly curious, today, Kaoru-kun. Don't you want to know his name as well?"  
  
"Ew, no. What you did with other dudes isn't my business."  
  
Rei chuckles. "Sure, sure. What happened in the past stays in the past."

Kaoru lied. He doesn't want to know the person's name because he doesn't want to feel bad about it. What if this boy was better than him? What if Rei leaves him to get back with that guy? What if Rei actually leaves him for someone else, actually?

He shakes his head at this thought, " _what am I, a teenager in love? Pathetic."_

It's not like they are a thing anyway, so why does he even get anxious about that? A lot of questions invade his head and he wants to stop overthinking as soon as possible.

"How long are you going to stay like this?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Rei imitates Kaoru's drunk voice. “I haaaaaate when people don’t look at me while they’re talking to meee…Sakuma-san you meaaaniiieee!! Look at me!!!”  
  
Kaoru suddenly turns around, hiding his friend's face with a pillow. "Oh shut up, Sakuma-san!"  
  
Rei pouts. "Kaoru-kun you meaaaniiiiieeeee!!"

 

* * *

  
  
_(back to present)_

"We...We should go."

Rei starts to take more and more of Kaoru's dick into his mouth as the latter covers his with his forearm, holding his voice back as much as possible. Kaoru runs his hands through the older boy's hair, trying to desperately stop himself from thrusting upwards into his mouth.

"We're still early...Just a little bit more..." He whispers, his hand squeezing and pumping the blonde's cock.  
  
"Ah- Rei, fuck," Kaoru breathes out between moans.  
  
"Keep your voice down, Kaoru-kun, or else we'll be heard. It would be quite unfortunate, don't you think?"

The two boys are hidden backstage, behind big boxes. Kaoru doesn't understand why Rei wanted to have sex so much since it's Friday and they'd eventually go at Rei's place to do it after the concert anyway.

 _"Is he stressed?"_ He wonders, staring at the older boy sucking him off with such focus that he barely listens to him.

His mouth hangs open as he feels Rei's throat close around his tip. It catches him off guard and he almost falls to his knees, barely able to stand. Fortunately, Rei has caught ahold of him right in time, wrapping his arms around him.

"Close," Kaoru pants, holding on to Rei's shoulders. He lets out an even louder moan as he feels the latter's throat tighten around him once again. He bits his bottom lip, trying his hardest to stay silent. Tiny shocks of pleasure bolt through his body, from his neck to his dick, causing him to climax down Rei's throat with a low groan.   
  
"S-shit, I'm sorry, Sakuma-san! Tissue, Tissue." He looks around him in panic.  
  
Rei giggles. "You need not to worry, Kaoru-kun." He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.  
  
A familiar voice suddenly resonates in the room. "Where are they? Those bastards better not be late!!"  
  
"Oh ho? Isn't this our doggie? What a good timing! For once, your premature ejaculation comes in handy." He winks at the blonde, before drinking half of his water bottle down to get rid of the taste of cum.  
  
Kaoru clicks his tongue, "fuck you, Sakuma-san."  
  
"Okay. Let's continue after our performance, then." He smiles then shows himself up on stage. "Good evening, my beloved children!" He addresses to the two members that have just arrived.

  
After a few minutes of preparation, the doors open and the concert venue starts filling up with a few hundreds of fans. Undead are very popular, thanks to the group's appeal and especially Kaoru's popularity among girls. Their presence on stage and performance quality are well-known and it's not a problem to attract people to their lives anymore. This concert serves as advertising for Yumenosaki Academy. As the end of the year approaches, each unit needs to hold a small one and perform all their songs to show their abilities and accomplishments as Yumenosaki's idols.

Rei takes the mic. "Come, everyone. Enjoy the banquet to your heart's content! The dead of night is truly our stage, after all; sing and dance to your dreams of this world until you desire it no more!"  
  
"I'll be making all these girls here mine ♪" Kaoru says.  
  
"Oya? I'll be jealous, you know~" Rei whispers.  
  
"Pah! What are you doin' ?? Spouting nonsense, huh, lousy seniors!?" Koga butts in. "C'mere, Adonis. We're gonna say somethin' too so we don't lose to these two pieces of trash here! Go on, say somethin'!"  
  
"...I'm sorry, I'm not very good at talking. I'll make it up by singing, dancing and performing as Undead. Please enjoy our concert, everyone."

The crowd explodes with applause and screams as "Melody in The Dark" starts blasting through amplifiers. As always, Undead don't fail to deliver a flawless performance, catching everyone's heart and attention.  
Kaoru can't help but glance at Rei from time to time. When he's on stage, he lets something out from his whole body, like the feeling of a real leader. No one can deny Rei's sexiness, not even Kaoru. Seeing him winking at the audience gives him a weird sensation, almost like jealousy. But who is he jealous of?

 _"Geez, I'm just no match for you, Sakuma-san."_ He thinks, before sending a flying kiss to some girls in the front row.

Rei and Kaoru's eyes suddenly meet from each side of the stage. The older boy smiles at him, giving him a nod of acknowledgement. Kaoru can read his lips saying "Good job" and feels like he's finally seen as his equal rather than someone inferior.

 

The concert ends in great success. Everyone seems pleased and Undead's hard work has paid off.

"What an AMAZING show! I am filled with deep emotion at how everyone gathered here has enjoyed my old friend's festival!"  
  
"Oh ho? So you did come, Hibiki-kun. It is a pleasure to see you again."  
  
"Fufufu, it appears you are surprised. Amazing! This is the concert of the century that you simply cannot afford to miss.....Fuhahahahahaha ☆" He throws tons of roses on stage.  
  
"Puka, puka... ♪"  
  
"Shinkai-kun as well! Fufufu, what a delight to see us Oddballs reunited again. It brings me back good memories... ♪ Did you friends enjoy the concert?"  
  
"It was fun. It's 'very different' from the older days. It makes me 'happy'..." Kanata replies.  
  
Wataru nods. "Let us celebrate the triumphant return of The Oddballs! Come now, everyone, gather around! Let us head to the beach and have an AMAZING party!~☆"  
  
Rei chuckles, "This sounds like a good idea. You all go ahead, I still have some things to take care of here."

Wataru and Kanata both nod in agreement, before heading toward the exit. They also ask Adonis and Koga to join them, as well as Souma, who also came to the concert to support his best friend. Rei waits for them all to leave before heading to the changing room. He barges in on Kaoru removing his clothes.  
  
"God damn it, Sakuma-san, can't you knock? Don't just come in as you please."  
  
"Oh my, do not act as if I've never seen you naked, Kaoru-kun. It breaks my heart."  
  
Kaoru blushes, "O-okay stop saying such things, it's embarrassing. Someone can hear you." He takes some extra pants he's brought with him.  
  
"Aaah, don't you worry about that. Everyone just left...We'll have to join them soon, though." Rei takes the pants away from Kaoru's hand. "In addition, you won't need this...for now."  
  
"W-wait what? Are we going to do it here? Didn't you just say we should go?"  
  
"Never leave a job half done! Be kind and leave your body to me, Kaoru-kun. I'll go fast." He smirks.

That smirk again. Kaoru definitely cannot resist to this, neither can he resist his winks. He wonders if Rei always uses this kind of trick to get what he wants from people. He feels terribly weak for falling for it once again, but tells himself that it doesn't matter since he's going to feel good anyway. Why should he care?

"By the way, Kaoru-kun. You were amazing on stage, tonight." He kisses his neck while touching his crotch. "You've been working seriously, haven't you? So as a reward, I should do the same as well."

It only takes a little while for Kaoru's body to react at Rei's words and touch.

"Oh ho? What do we have here?" He giggles.  
  
"Shut it, Sakuma-san. Hurry up and just..." He pauses. He realizes it's way too embarrassing to actually _ask_ the other boy to fuck him. No way.  
  
"And just...?"  
  
"Nothing, just hurry up. Didn't you say we should join everyone soon? They must be waiting for us, so..." He avoids his gaze.  
  
"Kukuku. You are right, Kaoru-kun. Well, here I am. Let me take care of you... ♪"

 

* * *

 

The cool sea breeze brushes gently against Kaoru's cheek. It's been ages since he last went to surf and he kind of misses it. It makes him feel alive and forget about all his concerns. He wonders why he didn't even think about it and believes that it's probably because he's been very busy lately. He also wonders if there isn't something (or someone) else that also keeps his mind away from his recurrent problems.  
Everyone's sitting around a campfire, singing together to the melody of Koga's guitar. They've also brought drinks and snacks to share and they all seem to have a good time celebrating Undead's successful concert. Kaoru glances at Rei sitting on the opposite side of him, between Wataru and Koga. His leader seems to have a lot of fun, teasing his doggie and chatting with his old friend.

_"They seem to get along so well."_

He then glances to the right, as a loud voice catches his attention.

"I shall traverse through fire or water if Adonisu-dono requested it!" Souma exclaims, before blushing intensely as everyone's now looking and laughing at him.  
  
"Souma-kun seems to care about our Adonis-kun quite a lot, doesn't he?" Rei points out.

Random thoughts start filling Kaoru's head. He notices Rei hasn't paid attention to him _at all_ ever since they arrived together. Yet, he's the one who said, as soon as they saw the others "Don't misunderstand! Sakuma-san and I just happened to bump into each other after the concert, so it's not like I was waiting for him, alright?" So why does he feel like this? He catches himself thinking of his relationship with Rei, wondering whether or not they'll be able to continue like this. Continue what, exactly? There's no future for such relationships and he doesn't even want it, anyway. However, a big question arises, as he witnesses how close Adonis and Souma are: does Rei care about him too?

After a few songs, the 2nd years decide to go have fun in the sea. Kaoru doesn't feel like tagging along, since he doesn't see the point if he doesn't have his surfboard with him. He doesn't really feel in the mood either, for some reason. He wraps his arms around his ankles and tucks his knees under his chin, staring at his underclassmen bursting of laughter. Suddenly, he feels a presence sitting next to him.

"Oh, Kanata-kun. Still can't swim?" He asks.  
  
His friend shakes his head. "What about you, Kaoru? You like the 'sea', right? Why aren't you 'playing' with them?"  
  
"Yeah, no. I don't really feel like it, right now."  
  
"Hm. Is there 'something' bothering you? You look 'sad' again."  
  
"Oh really? Nah nah I'm not, don't worry. Guess I'm just thinking too much."  
  
"Ah...I hope 'everything' will get better 'soon', then. Kaoru is a good boy, after all..... ♪"

The blue-haired boy gently pats his head, startling him a bit.

"Eeeeh? What was that praise for?" He pauses. "But you know, I don't dislike being called a "good boy" by you, Kanata-kun." He smiles.

It feels weird to have another person calling him a "good boy", since the only one who's ever done it is Rei (though it's in...a different context). It still feels good, nevertheless. Kanata's presence is really relaxing and he doesn't need to say anything to comfort him. He's never felt like this with anyone and this feeling alone reassures him a lot. He knows he can trust Kanata no matter what, and he hopes the other boy thinks the same about him, too.  
They start talking about plenty of things. Kaoru has a smile on his face and his anxiety is behind him, now. Being with Kanata truly makes him feel at ease.

He asks out of the blue, "by the way, have you seen Sakuma-san?"  
  
"Hm, he 'left' with Wataru quite a 'while' ago."  
  
"Huh?"

He can't describe this feeling. Is it his anxiety again? Disappointment? Sadness? Upset? He's tired of his thoughts messing him up again and over again, if only he could just get rid of them, it'd be great. If only he could find the _reason_ behind them, it'd be even better. He doesn't see any point in overthinking, yet he can't help it.

He huffs and thinks, _"Aaah, as expected..."_ He feels his heart tighten in his chest.

Betrayal. He feels betrayed, in a way. He doesn't understand why Rei just left like this because it's Friday and they're supposed to...wait, they already did it earlier. So why? Again, why? It's not like he wants to have sex again, it's not like he misses the long talks they usually have after sex, it's not like Rei's the only person he can talk with...There's Kanata, too. So why?

"Kaoru?"  
  
"H-huh? Oh, sorry I..."  
  
"I said, what are 'you' going to do in the ‘future’?"  
  
"Aaah, I don't really know? It's complicated."  
  
"Are you going to 'continue' as an 'idol'?"  
  
Kaoru sighs, "I'm not even sure about that."  
  
"Do you 'want' to?"  
  
"Honestly, I don't know. I mean...It's fun and all but, what's next? What if I fail and prove my dad right? He keeps saying I wont go anywhere if I continue as an idol."  
  
"You'll also prove him 'right' if you 'listen' to him and go to 'university', though."  
  
The blonde chuckles, "ha, you're right. But anyway, I'm...not sure if I'll pursue as an idol. I don't even know if I want to."

They continue their conversation as the night wears on. Their underclassmen have already left after biding them goodbye but neither of Kaoru and Kanata wants to go home. It starts getting chilly so Kanata takes a blanket he's brought along to wrap them both and keep them warm. They stay like this, in the middle of the beach, enjoying each other's presence and words, as they talk about so many things they forget the time.  
Kaoru's fallen asleep on Kanata's shoulder. The campfire has gone long ago and the rising sun takes over the darkness. The blue-haired boy brings his hand to his friend's blonde hair, putting some behind his ear. He gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek, before resting his head against his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kaokana slayin' (oops)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i wrote this chapter in the plane and car on my way to vacation

_Buzz Buzz. Buzz Buzz. Buzz Buzz._

Kaoru opens his eyes, woken up by the incessant sound of his phone vibrating. He looks at his phone screen showing 2pm and notices he's got 4 missed calls from Rei. He's about to go back to sleep when a 5th one ruins his plan to sleep in.

He grumbles, "yeah?"  
  
"Kaoru-kun?"

"Who else, Sakuma-san?"

"Oh, were you perhaps still sleeping? You haven't become a vampire like me, have you?"

He sighs, still half-asleep. "What is it, this time?"

"Do you want to hang out, today?"

The blonde doesn't answer right away, as he's still half asleep from his whole night out. He came back home early in the morning when his family already left for work, as he always does. It's funny that Rei calls him for another Undead hangout since he's thought of suggesting the same not too long ago. Even though he still doesn't know how to behave with Rei after the latter left with Wataru without saying a word, Kaoru still wants to have a good time with his unit.  
  


* * *

  
"Where are the others?"

"Hm? What about the others?"

"I mean...this is an... Undead hangout, right?"

Rei laughs, "not really, Kaoru-kun. It's a date."

"Huh? What?" 

Kaoru can't believe his ears. A date? With a guy? He feels so stupid, why did he even _think_ it would be an Undead hangout? Come to think of it, Rei's never said it was one. He keeps blaming himself for being the dumbest guy on earth when he's still half-asleep. But for some reason, he doesn't feel that displeased either. In fact, they've never spent time together beside their weekly sex, so it wouldn't hurt to hang out with a...friend from time to time.  
He can't help but wonder if something happened between Rei and Wataru last night. Why did he leave without telling him? _"It's not like he owes me anything...”,_ he thinks. But then why is he the one being his date? _"He must be tired of Wataru."_

"Let's get going, shall we?" Rei breaks his train of thoughts. "Do you mind if we go shopping? I need new clothes for the graduation ceremony."

"N-No, it's alright...I don't mind."

"I suppose you're quite used to it anyway, aren't you? Accompanying girls to shopping and such."

"I guess...?"

  
They then head to a suit shop. It doesn't take long for Rei to choose, as he already knows what he wants: a black one. It's unsurprisingly the color that suits him the most.

"What do you think of this one, Kaoru-kun?" He says, looking at himself in the mirror.

"Looks good."

"Alright, but what about me?"

"You...you look...classy?"

"That's all?"

Kaoru huffs, "listen, Sakuma-san. Just...hurry up and choose one, I don't really want to be seen doing shopping with a guy."

"Fufufu. Well, alright. I'm taking this one if you say it looks good. Let's go."

"Hm, what about the tie?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, you're right. I forgot about that. Please choose one for me!" He smiles.

Kaoru's surprised of this sudden request. Why him? _"Why not ask Wataru?"_ He gets rid of this thought and decides to pick a red tie to match Rei's eyes. The blonde can't help but find him really hot dressed so formally, even more than usual. It's not the first time he realizes how beautiful his eyes are and he catches himself staring at them a little too much. God, he's not supposed to have this kind of thought.  
Rei doesn't linger and goes to pay straight away. He doesn't even question Kaoru's choice and just goes with it. The blonde actually enjoys this moment with his friend because it's surprisingly different from his dates with girls. They always spend hours choosing clothes and asking for his opinion and even though he thinks it looks terrible on them, he can't bring himself to say it. Meanwhile, everything seems so much easier with Rei. Everything would look amazing on him and it wouldn't take him forever to try on clothes or take the blonde's opinion in consideration. Somehow, it makes Kaoru feel at ease. 

"Didn't you once suggest me to go to that new zombie arcade, Kaoru-kun?"

"Yeah. You said it was too intense for you, though. Why? Are you interested, now?"

"I might."

Kaoru smirks, then drags him by the arm (not as violently as last time, thank god), leading him to the arcade. It's actually one of his favorite places and he remembers having a great time there with his class and Anzu. It takes him a while to show Rei around and explain the rules, as Rei's never been there before. He's actually never been to all those places since he always sleeps during the day. It feels refreshing to discover new things and every time he does, it's with Kaoru.  
They spend an hour playing that new zombie shooting game. Rei's having a very hard time with it and it's so funny Kaoru can't help but make fun of him. He actually hasn't laughed like this for a long time and it brings a smile to Rei's face as well. The latter glances at his friend, smiling and admitting his defeat.

"You owe me a drink, Sakuma-san!" Kaoru exclaims proudly.

"Aww, how unfortunate. But you must admit I'm not too bad for a first time."

"Yes...Let's say you're not _too_ bad. You'll never be better than me, though." He winks.

"That's for sure...I'm still better than you for a lot of things."

"Oh really, now?"

They keep teasing each other while walking toward a café. Rei's lost their bet at the arcade and since he doesn't know any places to hang out here, he lets Kaoru lead him around. The latter chooses a café, saying he's his favorite. The older boy notices that it's the same from the other day, when he "coincidentally" interrupted his date. They enter the café, Rei following right behind the blonde. The latter seems to be a regular as he directly heads to a specific table. Rei notices it's the same from last time and for some reason, he feels a little bothered.

"Everything's delicious here so...pick anything you want. I'd recommend their cheesecake, though. It's definitely the best." Kaoru says.

Rei smiles, "is that so? Well, I'll gladly follow your recommendation, then."

He closes the menu and looks at the blonde sat in front of him. It seems that being seen with a guy doesn't bother him as much anymore, or maybe is it that people here are so used to seeing him with a girl they wouldn't even suspect anything?

"What do you want to do after grad, Sakuma-san?" Kaoru asks out of the blue, looking through the window.

"Hm...I think I'll continue as an idol? My wish is to become famous overseas."

"Really?"

He nods, staring at his golden eyes. "Yes, really." He pauses. "What about you, Kaoru-kun?"

"Aha, no idea. I don't know what I want to do."

"Do you mean, you don't know what you're _allowed_ to do? Your father doesn't want you to continue as an idol, am I right?"

"Yeah..." He laughs. "You always know everything about everyone. You really are something, Sakuma-san."

They continue talking about their family and share their dreams to each other. All their awkward moments are now far behind them, as they seem to be in their own world. Kaoru confesses about his constant worries, not only for himself but also for his sister. Rei does the same, saying how long it's been since his relationship with his little brother became this bad. It's surprisingly so easy to talk about such things with Kaoru, especially since Rei's definitely _not_ the kind to talk about himself to others. Yet, he does it so naturally when he's with him.

"Oh, isn't this Kaoru-kun?" A voice interrupts them. "I haven't seen you in ages. How long has it been? One week?"

"Ah, Rin-chan. Stop teasing me. I've been super busy lately, that's all."

"Well, for someone who comes almost every day, one week sure seems like forever." She teases. "On top of that, you're not even on a date. What have you become in the span of a week, I wonder."

Rei raises an eyebrow. This "Rin-chan" is one of the café's waitresses and she seems to be very familiar with Kaoru. After all, he's used to coming here almost every day. They talk for a few minutes, leaving the older boy in his thoughts. _"'You're not even on a date', huh. Little does she know."_ He huffs. His bothered feeling from earlier starts increasing and he decides to look away. Kaoru talking with a girl...It'd probably take a while.

"Anyway, may I take your order?" She says after a few minutes.  "I assume it'll be the usual for you, Kaoru-kun?"

"You know me."  
  
"Hm, I'll only take a tomato juice, please."

The waitress bows, before winking at Kaoru and leaving to the bar. Kaoru then turns toward Rei.

"You didn't take the cheesecake, after all?"

Rei smiles. "No, I'm not that hungry, after all. Vampire thing, you see."

Lies. Kaoru probably recommends this to all his dates. He remembers seeing Naomi eating one, last time and he definitely isn't going to be treated like one of those girls. He keeps feeling bothered and still hasn't found an explanation to this feeling. He decides to ignore it and continue the conversation where they left off. By doing so, the uncomfortable sensation leaves the older boy bit by bit.  
  
A few minutes later, they get interrupted again.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah It's Kao-chaaaaan!!!"

The high-pitched voice makes Rei cringe. Another girl pops up out of nowhere, almost jumping on Kaoru. She seems so excited and happy to see him she can't stop talking.

"Kao-chaaaaaan when are we going on a date again? It's been months already..." She pouts.

 _"She doesn't even ask how he's been."_ Rei thinks.

Kaoru wears his usual charming smile, apologizing and promising her that he'll call her as soon as he's free. To Rei's ears, it doesn't sound really sincere, but it's not his business anyway. Again, he looks away. He'd rather observe strangers through the window than pay attention to this clingy and annoying girl's nonsense. It's not like his friend needs his help either, anyway.  
Their conversation starts getting lively, as she's started telling him about what's happened in her life since their last date. Rei frowns and glances at them still talking _._ _"Isn't it basic good manners to introduce me to your 'friends' or are you so ashamed to be seen with a guy that you just act like I don't exist?"_ He has the terrible feeling of being left out and he _hates_ it.  
People constantly end up ditching him anyway. He thinks that he should get used to it already, but it still hurts him deep inside. To cope with this, he keeps teasing and clinging to people he likes but doesn't realize that it might give him the opposite effect he's so scared of.  
  
The annoying girl finally leaves after a few minutes that seem like forever. Kaoru then turns toward Rei again, apologizing for the inconvenience.

"She's really talkative, sorry."

"Kaoru-kun sure is popular, huh?" He smiles.

Kaoru laughs. "Well, of course."

Rei has a hard time swallowing but can't figure out why. He feels his chest tightening, as if he's burning inside. First, he's kind of offended that Kaoru has brought him here of all places. Sure, it's his favorite café, but it's also the one he _always_ brings his dates to. And for some reason, Rei doesn't like it. Second, he doesn't have the feeling that they're on a date. The other boy might think it was a joke but when Rei said they were on a date, he _meant_ it. He didn't get rid of his afternoon nap to endure this. He knows that he shouldn't expect so much from the blonde, especially since it must be hard for him to hang out this way with a guy but...he just can't help it.  
It's truly a pity that everything's been going great so far and it has to be ruined because of something so stupid.  


* * *

   
"Aaaah it was nice, Sakuma-san. I'd never believe that hanging out with a guy would be this nice."   
  
"Is that so?"

"Don't misunderstand, Sakuma-san. I still prefer going on a date with girls~"  
  
Rei isn't the kind of person who shows his emotions easily, he always stays calm and composed no matter what. This is why the conversation still goes on quite normally as they go home together, even though Rei's become less talkative than before.

"Sakuma-san, is something wrong?" Kaoru asks out of the blue.

"Hm? Nothing, Kaoru-kun. I was just wondering...how's Naomi-chan?"

The blonde's surprised by this question. Why would Rei ask about her? "Well, she's fine. Speaking of which, I should text her for another date since you ruined it last time..."

Rei huffs sarcastically. "There's no point. I honestly don't think you're her type."

"Excuse me? You don't even know her?"

"Well, this is just my opinion. Don't feel so offended."

"Well, I didn't ask for it?" He raises an eyebrow.

"None of them loves you, Kaoru-kun. None of them will ever love you. They do not know the real you."

Kaoru frowns and suddenly stops walking. "Haa? Are you saying you know the real me, then?"

"Yes." He doesn't even turn around to face the other boy. "Yes, I do."

The blonde laughs in a mocking way. "Bullshit. Honestly, Sakuma-san. You've been acting so weird these past few weeks, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm only speaking the truth, Kaoru-kun. What is wrong with that?"

Kaoru walks fast enough to pass him. "You don't give a single shit about people's feelings, do you." He says, before leaving.

For the first time, Kaoru would rather go home early than spend time with Rei. He's pissed and upset, deeply hurt by his words.

 _"What do you know? Stop acting like you know everyone's life and how people think._ " He thought that they both had so much fun and doesn't understand how it could've ended up like this. _"What the fuck is wrong with him?"_

   
As soon as he gets home, he heads straight to his room and slams the door shut. He didn't even hear his sister calling him; he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He needs to be finally alone, for once. He lies on his bed, still angry about what's just happened. He doesn't understand why Rei's been acting so weird lately, he does't understand why he even said those words. Rei isn't the kind to say hurtful things to people but he isn't the kind to lie either.  
Yet, a part of him realizes that maybe he's right, after all. No one loves him, and no one ever will. Everyone's fake. Even _he_ is. All those sweet words he's said to girls, as well as his gentle behavior. He's never thought a single time that they were sincere but as long as the person in front of him feels happy, it's fine to him. He'll just go with it because at least, he'd feel _loved_. For once in his life, he'd feel loved. He's never received love from anyone in his life. His mother left way too soon, leaving a hole in his heart that no one has ever filled. Sure, his sister is the best person he can ever wish for, but...it's not the same. Even though he'll forever be thankful to her, he believes he's more a burden to her than anything. Moreover, he has always, always been looking for a mother figure; someone who would take care of him and love him as much as he does. This is why he's been chasing after girls ever since, thinking they'd fill that hole but it's never worked. It's always been a mere illusion.  
Kaoru has always lived in denial; he has always rejected the truth, choosing what he _wants_ to see rather than accepting what's in front of his eyes. He's lived with the thought that all those girls were totally in love with him but no, they weren't. He's been wrong all along. Those girls have been wrong all along. They've been in love with the _fake_ him, the image he's built of himself, the one who desperately yearns for love and yet, has never accepted it from anyone.

 _"None of them loves you, Kaoru-kun. None of them will ever love you. They do not know the real you."_ Rei's voice keeps resonating in his head.

Tears of frustration and anger start falling down his cheek.

"Shit, why am I crying? Fuck." He covers his face with his hands, sighing heavily.

He realizes that the older boy's words hurt more than expected. Yet, he can't bring himself to hate him. Why? Why can't he hate such a horrible person, who just says anything he wants without caring about anyone's feelings?

He huffs. "This is bad."

Why does he care so much about him? Why does it annoy him so much when Rei doesn't pay attention to him? Why does he always feel like sex isn't the main reason he wants to be with Rei?

He laughs sarcastically. "Man, this can't be love. This can't fucking be. I'm not..."

Rei only cares about his brother, anyway...and Wataru. Other than them, he only does as he pleases and uses people for his own benefits, just like he's been doing with him. There's no way his love (or whatever this is) would be returned. This damn vampire just wants to have fun by teasing him and having sex, that's all. Ha! It must be really funny to tease someone who's always claimed to be into girls. He must've had so much fun when he got to fuck him. He probably thought "ha, Kaoru-kun isn't that straight after all, huh?" before teasing him even more. No wonder Rei has chosen him as his target.

 _"He's greedy and disgusting."_ He says to himself _. "Whatever, what am I even mad for? Our relationship is nothing else but physical anyway. Nothing more, nothing less."_

Kaoru decides to take a shower. It's his way to release himself from all his concerns, to "start fresh". But even under the shower, he keeps overthinking.  
He goes out after a few minutes and takes his phone to check if he's received any notifications.  
  
4 text messages. 0 phone calls. All from girls, nothing from Rei.

He sighs. _"What did I even expect?"_

He doesn't reply and heads to his bed. He'll eventually make up an excuse for not replying as fast as he usually does, those girls would believe anything he says anyway.  
A lot of things have happened in a span of a month and a lot of things will happen in the next few weeks. He finally realizes that being with Rei has actually helped him feel better overall. It's too late to go back, now. If he could, he'd gladly accept to stay as sexfriends because even though he can't have his love (or anyone's), at least he can still feel good. _If he could_. The fight they've just had has undoubtedly ruined everything between them.

 _"Guess I always end up losing everything."_ He laughs at himself. _"Pathetic."_

He rolls around in his bed, unable to find sleep. He doesn't know what to do at all. He doesn't know what he even _wants_ , once again. His career, his friendships, his family life, his love life. He never knows what he really wants, there's always been someone telling him what to do and though he's always wished for freedom, at the end he doesn't know how to take advantage of it.

He looks at his phone again and sighs, _"I want to talk to Kanata-kun..."_

It's way too late to ask his friend to meet. He thinks he'll talk to him when he sees him at their club on Monday.  
After hours of overthinking, tiredness takes over him.

"I should just end this..." He says to himself, before slowly falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not sorry


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops sorry for being late

"You know you want me, Kaoru-kun. I'm the only one who understands you. I'm the only one who knows what you truly yearn for, what you truly need. Stop rejecting your feelings. Accept them. Accept me." Rei smirks and takes the other boy's face in his hands, their lips only a few inches away. "You want to be loved, Kaoru-kun. You want it so bad it hurts, but you can't have it. Why? Because you're a coward. You run as soon as a problem surfaces, you'll never face it. You're a coward, Kaoru-kun." He slowly moves his face away and disappears abruptly.

Another person suddenly appears right behind him, whispering in his ear. "Cowards have nothing to do in this world, Kaoru."

Kaoru turns around in panic, "F-Father?"

"You're a disgrace to the Marine Club!" Souma shouts behind him, before slicing him in half with his katana.

"AAAAAAHH" Kaoru wakes up all of a sudden, panting and sweating heavily. "God...a nightmare." He covers his face with one hand, the other one reaching for the water bottle. He drinks it all down, before looking at his phone. 8AM.

"Shit, I'm late." He jumps out of bed, before rushing to the bathroom.

  
He leaves the house ten minutes later and hurries to school. A few days have passed since his "fight" with Rei and he hasn't been in the mood to go there at all, especially after the shitty day he had yesterday. His father kept lecturing him about the same things again and as if it wasn't enough, he added to this another lecture concerning his love life. Indeed, his sister's third omiai didn't go well and their father wasn't pleased at all...which led to him blaming Kaoru for everything, once again. It's become worse and worse at home and the blonde doesn't even know how he can still find the motivation to get out of bed and go to school. His strong will to get out of this house as soon as possible, probably.  
Plus, his stress has been getting more and more intense as the end of the year approaches. At that moment, he actually wants to quit everything. Everything's just a pain and he's so done already.

He reaches Yumenosaki right on time. He breathes heavily, exhausted from his running. Never has he thought he'd make such efforts to attend class. He lifts his head and notices two people standing in front of the school's doors. Rei and Wataru. He doesn't greet them and passes them quickly, hoping that they haven't seen him. He's got no time to deal with them and only wants this day to go by as fast as possible.  
Lately, Kaoru's been rushing to the clubroom every day after classes end. He still doesn't want to go home and hasn't felt like going on dates either, so it's the only place he can go, for now. Plus, Kanata's always there and he feels like the blue-haired boy is the only person he can talk to. However, he's back to skipping practices again. Everything's been adding up and it's honestly the last thing he can endure. No matter how serious he wants to be, it's just impossible for him to go and see even more people, especially Rei. Fortunately, his relationships with his classmates haven't changed at all, since he keeps pretending everything's fine. Moreover, no one ever asks him about his life or anything anyway...  
Kaoru has ended up talking to Kanata about his relationship with Rei as well. The latter didn't have a specific reaction, as he always keeps his usual smile at everything Kaoru says. The blonde doesn't mind at all, though. He actually appreciates this part of him a lot. Kanata's always been there to listen, and would sometimes give him advice too. Well, he doesn't always understand them but it still means a lot to him. Thanks to Kanata, he's been feeling less lonely these past few days.

* * *

   
The 3 remaining Undead members have been practicing almost every day in the light music clubroom. For some reason, no one has questioned about Kaoru's sudden disappearance, as if everything's gone back to how it was before. Rei hasn't talked with Kaoru ever since, nor hasn't seen him at school either. The only time he has, the blond seemed to have avoided him and he didn't have time to think about it any further, or more like he didn't _want_ to. He's been keeping himself busy, both as his unit and club's leader and fortunately, there have been a lot of things to do. He hasn't felt like apologizing either, though. He was right, after all, so why apologize when you're right? It's Kaoru's fault for taking everything this way and not admitting it.  
However, he'd lie if he said he doesn't miss their time together. Not only that, but he also misses ruining his friend's dates. Seeing his reactions and emotions was a delight to him. He misses their daily texts and calls, as well. Rei would often call the blonde for futile things, only to tease him. He's always believed it was funny to hear him say "What now, Sakuma-san?" as he picks up the phone but he's never realized that he actually wanted to hear his voice and talk with him a bit more. Unfortunately, everything belongs to the past, now.

He looks through the window, while overhearing Koga and Adonis' conversation about Kaoru.

"Tch. I don't give a fuck about what's wrong with him but playboy bastard better comes to practice real soon. Can't believe he just went back to bein' a player again when the end of the year is comin' soon. Piss off."

"Hm, actually...Kanzaki told me that he's seen Shinkai-senpai and Hakaze-senpai together every day after their club activities..."

"Haaa? No way? This guy's always 'no homo' every time a dude approaches him??"

"Yes, Kanzaki told me he found it weird, too. But I trust Kanzaki's words; he would never lie to me."

Rei frowns. Adonis was right. Kaoru and Kanata have just appeared in his line of sight, walking together before sitting by the school's fountain. Sometimes, he hates seeing everything from this window. After a few seconds, he turns over and starts moving around the room. He then sits on his coffin, fidgeting and looking at his phone he doesn't even know how to use. He doesn't know why, but he feels annoyed.

"I'm going to talk to Kaoru-kun. His lack of seriousness is quite a problem. I can't let him be so selfish as to let us all fail our repayment performance."

"Oi, vampire bastard, are you ill or somethin'?"

"Well, Kaoru-kun not being serious is a serious matter, don't you think?"

"Yeah but...why do you suddenly care so much?"

Rei doesn't reply. Koga's right. Why does he care so much? He's never cared about Kaoru's behavior, before. So why now? Is he actually using his role as a leader as an excuse for his growing jealousy?

"Not like you guys are gonna continue bein' idols together in the future. He's not even goin' to pursue his career, anyway."

The older boy frowns, his eyes widened. "Wait, what? Where have you heard this from?

Koga shrugs. "Overheard him talkin' with Shinkai-senpai on the beach, the other day. Thought you'd know about this... You both lousy senpais."

Again, Rei doesn't utter a word and leaves the room. He needs to have a few words with Kaoru. As a leader, of course. He needs to talk to him as his leader, nothing else. What else can it be, anyway?

He reaches the fountain a few minutes later, but prefers staying hidden behind a wall. It's such a sneaky move coming from him, but he can't help it. He can't figure out why, but he's always wondered what kind of relationship these two have been having. _"I'm just satisfying my personal curiosity, that's all."_ He thinks. 

"Shouldn't you go back to 'practice' soon, Kaoru? 'Repayment' festival and 'graduation' are coming up, right? It's 'important' to 'practice' with your unit."

"Weeelll...I still don't feel like going, honestly."

"Is it because of 'Rei'?"

"Maybe? Man, I don't know. I'm honestly just fed up with all those things...sexfriends and shit."

"I 'understand'. You can 'rely' on me 'anytime', Kaoru."

"Yeah, I know, Kanata-kun. Thanks."

"I don't 'want' to go 'home', today."

Kaoru chuckles, "me neither." He pauses. "What about going to the beach, then? It was fun last time. We can take blankets and watch the sunset?" 

Rei frowns. He can feel his grip on the wall tightening, as well as his chest. He can't believe Kaoru would suggest a date to a guy, let alone...his old friend.

Kanata takes Kaoru's hand and smiles, "Yes! I 'love' watching the 'sea' with Kaoru!" 

The blonde smiles back at him and they don't say anything for a little while. Suddenly, Kanata moves forward to kiss Kaoru. 

Rei can't take it anymore. He doesn't have a single clue about what's happening within him, he doesn't know what kind of feeling this is, but he feels like burning inside. His heart is ready to jump out of his chest and he feels like throwing punches to the wall. He hates this feeling; he hates how familiar it seems. Indeed, it's not the first time that he doesn't get a hold on something. It's not the first time he sees someone just slipping out between his fingers and leaving his side. He knows that the right person, the one who should be by Kaoru's side, the one who should be comforting him right now is him and no one else. But then why can't he just step up and say it? Why does he keep letting himself being betrayed this way? Kaoru doesn't belong to him. Yet, he's always felt like he does. Ever since they became sexfriends, he's always thought he had all rights on Kaoru. And it's probably what has torn them apart. He sighs and turns his back, before leaving far away from them. Rei Sakuma has given up.

 

"Waah waah there, what are you doing, Kanata-kun? I-it's not that I hate it...Well, if it's you, I guess it's fine but...You know, it's been hard for me lately, I don't really know where I belong anymore." He looks away, rubbing his neck.

Kanata smiles. "'Kaoru' likes 'Rei', right?"

"Ha? Haha, no way. I'm not..." He pauses.

"'Rei' and I 'used' to be very 'close' friends. 'Kaoru' is my 'close' friend, too."

"I'm confused." 

Kanata doesn't reply and gives him a warm smile.

"I mean...I just can't continue like this, anymore. It hurts. I don't even know why, it just does. Damn it." Tears start forming at the corner of his eyes and he lifts his head so they don't flow. He's too proud for that.

"Your 'feelings' are as 'clear' as the 'sea', Kaoru. Like the 'sea' turtles, you need 'time' to grow." He pats his head. "'Kaoru' should go back to 'practice'. I believe that being an 'idol' is what 'Kaoru' truly inspires to be."

"How can you know that?"

"I can 'feel' the waves in Kaoru's 'heart'." He smiles again.

Kaoru laughs, "you sure are something, Kanata-kun."

* * *

  
The next day, Kaoru shows up at practice as promise. Well, it was more of a promise to Kanata than anything and he can already feel that he'll regret it very soon but...he has no choice. Who knows what Kanata can do to him? Even though he looks all cute and pure on the outside, he somehow has a terrifying aura coming out from him... He could kill a man for sure if he wants to and the blonde definitely doesn't want to take any risk by disobeying him.

"Welcome, Hakaze-senpai." Adonis bows.

Koga suddenly turns around, "Finally showin' up, huh?"

Rei hasn't moved an inch, still in the middle of getting the music ready.

"Heeeeyy everyone! Long time no see." Kaoru glances at the older boy, still wearing his usual smile as if nothing happened.

"It's about damn time Hakaze....senpai." Koga replies.

After a few minutes, Rei finally turns around, smiling. "Hello, Kaoru-kun. I'm glad to see you back."

Something feels off. Kaoru doesn't know what, but something's definitely off. Yet, Rei still sounds like he usually does... which kind of disappoints the blonde. He's actually wanted the vampire to be a little different, to show a bit more emotions but unfortunately, he's still his usual self. It shouldn't be surprising, though, as Rei's always kept a smile at everything. 

"Very well. Let us start practicing, my dear members!" The leader claps.

After dancing a few times altogether, Rei has asked Koga and Adonis to practice together while he shows Kaoru some new moves. The blonde has expected it to be very awkward but in the end, Rei hasn't uttered a word about their fight or anything unrelated to practice. Actually, he seems cold and stricter than before. He hasn't asked a single time if Kaoru's alright, he just keeps telling him to do the same part again and again, until it becomes flawless. He's even asked everyone to stay longer so they can practice more together, when everything seems pretty alright already.

Koga snaps, "AAAH? What the fuck is wrong with you, vampire bastard? Everything's perfect already."

Rei smiles and replies in a calm tone, "Well, not enough in my humble opinion. Repayment Festival is not something you guys should take lightly. It isn't like any other festival, you know. We Undead can't allow ourselves to lose to other units."

Koga frowns. The older boy wasn't wrong, but he feels that, once again, he's using an excuse to hide something else. Adonis nods in agreement, while Kaoru raises an eyebrow.

  
At the end, they've all stayed for an extra hour and ended up panting on the floor, exhausted by this insane practice session.

As usual, they part ways in front of the school's gates, with Koga and Adonis leaving first.

"Okay, see ya." Kaoru waves at Rei before taking another way so they don't go home together.

"Where are you going?"

Kaoru turns around, confused by his question. "Well, I'm going home?"

"You know..it's Friday, today."

"Yeah, and?" He raises an eyebrow. He'd lie to himself if he says he isn't scared of Rei's answer.

" _And?_   Well, Kaoru-kun. You haven't forgotten about what we do on Fridays while you were missing in action, have you?"

Kaoru looks away. He can't believe Rei just acts like nothing happened. Well, maybe it's not a bad thing, after all. Yet, a part of him wishes he didn’t. A part of him actually waits to see another side of Rei, whatever it is. Kaoru's always kind of wished to see a sad Rei, a frustrated Rei, an angry Rei. He wants to see a side of the vampire no one has ever seen, and he has no idea why, he just does. But here he is: staying the same self he's always been. The calm and teasing type, always smiling at everything as if nothing truly matters. Nothing beside his brother, of course.

The blonde doesn't reply and starts walking toward Rei's house first. _"Whatever_ ", he’ll just do it one last time then end all this once for all.

 

They arrive a few minutes later and Kaoru doesn't even have time to put his bag down that Rei's already taken his face in his hands to crash his lips against his. Kaoru's eyes widen in surprise, he can barely breathe and is unable to pull out from that kiss.

"Hmph." He pushes the older boy away. "S-Sakuma san."

Rei proceeds to kiss along his jawline and down his neck. While doing so, he pushes the other boy toward his bed until they both fall abruptly, his body on top of the blonde. He pushes him down, before biting the latter's neck, sucking hard enough to prize a loud moan from him. It was so unexpected Kaoru covers his mouth straight away, his face and ears becoming red. Rei's totally turned on, pressing his crotch against Kaoru, who can feel how hard he already is. Rei then unbuttons his own shirt with one hand, while the other one's caressing Kaoru's body. The latter slowly starts removing his clothes; way too slowly in Rei's opinion, as the older boy does it for him in such a rough way he'd almost tear it. He does the same with their pants and they're now both in their underwear. Rei slams his lips into Kaoru's again, his tongue swirling around in his mouth, before gently biting his lower lip. 

"Sakum- Rei." Kaoru breathes out, as he begins to get hard. His friend's kisses and touches are enough for his body to react and he hates how easy it is.

The blonde tips his head back, enjoying the feeling of Rei's hand pulling out his dick and stroking it vigorously. He opens his mouth, letting out a loud "Ah!" with his eyelids flickering shut. He doesn't have time to open them again that Rei's already pushed two fingers into his mouth.

"Suck them" He says with a straight face.

He sounds so calm, _too_ calm. Something feels different. Kaoru's mind is too busy focusing on the boy stroking him that he can't process his thoughts properly. He follows Rei's order without flinching, sucking on his fingers as hard as he can.  
After a few seconds, Rei pulls them out, before thrusting them into Kaoru's hole. The blonde lets out a scream, as tears start forming in the corner of his eyes. Everything's going way too fast and he doesn't understand what's happening. He actually doesn't have the feeling the person on top of him is Rei. For some reason, he can't recognize him. This person isn't the teasing guy he's used to having sex with. He seems to be someone else and Kaoru's filled with only one feeling: anxiety. 

Rei has stopped stroking the other boy and has proceeded to jerk himself off while thrusting his fingers into Kaoru. He goes in deep, brushing over his prostate and stretching his hole as fast as he can. He can't hold it anymore. He hears a breathy gasp escaping from Kaoru's parted lips and this sight turns him on even more. The blonde is panting, moaning at each thrust hitting him harder and harder. He bites his bottom lip out of embarrassment.

"Let your voice out, Kaoru-kun." He brushes his thumb over the other's boy lip.

Both of them are now really hard and Kaoru hates his body for reacting this way, he hates himself for wanting Rei so much when he's not supposed to. 

"Turn around." Rei orders again.

Kaoru raises an eyebrow. He's always known that his friend likes to try everything in sex and to be honest, all he wants right now is to get over with this quickly...and to feel good too, by the way. He then gets on his knees and turns over, embarrassed by the thought of Rei seeing everything. The latter doesn't say a word, which is, again, very unusual. He'd always say something, he'd always praise him, compliment him, tease him. But this time, he hasn't done anything. Nothing. He'd take his time and go slowly, being sure that Kaoru feels at ease and that they both get pleasure together. It's different, today.

Rei has no time to waste and positions himself in front of the blonde's entrance, gripping his hips and digging his fingers into his skin. Kaoru shivers, he actually finds it horrible that he can't see what's happening down there...and that he can't see his partner's face.  
The older boy barely gives him time to adjust and pushes inside him, prizing a loud whine from the blonde.

"Fuck." Rei whispers, slamming his hips against Kaoru repeatedly. He then leans over the other boy, nipping along his neck and touching all over his body.

Kaoru tips his head back, his mouth open in a constant stream of gasps and moans. Each hard thrust sends shivers down his spine and on top on that, Rei has gripped his dick and has started jerking him off. 

"R-Rei...I...Ah!" He screams as the older boy slams into his prostate.

He's so close, _so_ close, as he feels his abdomen tightening more and more.

"P-please...let me...come."

Rei doesn't seem to listen to him, too focused on what he's doing to even reply. He's now kissing the blonde's neck and shoulders, sucking onto his skin hard enough to leave multiple marks. Meanwhile, Kaoru has grabbed the sheets, clinging and biting into them as he tries to hold his breath. The thrusts become harder and harder, faster and faster and he can't take it anymore. Rei's never been so rough and aggressive, as if he was angry. 

"REI!" Kaoru screams, as he comes into Rei's hand.

Without a warning, Rei moans as he comes a few seconds later, pushing into the other boy one more time before spilling deep inside of him. Only the sound of Kaoru screaming his name is enough to send him over the edge. He lets himself fall forwards, resting his chest on his friend's back, as they're both panting heavily against each other. Rei slowly pulls himself out, before flipping Kaoru over. He starts sucking onto his neck very hard again, biting the skin and leaving another visible hickey. For some reason, he wants to mark every single spot of this guy's body. He knows it's wrong, he knows Kaoru doesn't like it, he knows they're supposed to be just sexfriends and that no one should know about this. But he feels like showing someone (or everyone) that Kaoru's his...and he can't help it.

"Stop that." Kaoru says. "It hurts."

Rei doesn't listen and continues, doing the same on the blonde's chest.

"I SAID CUT IT OUT!" He pushes Rei's head away, before getting on his elbows. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" 

The older boy doesn't reply. Instead, he just moves away and sits on the edge of the bed. He sighs, without even looking at him.

"Do you like Kanata?"

Kaoru frowns. "Excuse me, what?" Why the hell is he even asking this of all times?

He repeats, in a slow and calm tone that's scarier than anything. "Do you like Kanata?"

"Hm, no...I don't-"

"I saw you with him."

Kaoru's face is confused. "Huh?"

"You kissed by the fountain. I saw you."

His eyes widen. "O-okay wait we didn't-" He covers his face with his hand and sighs, frustrated. "Anyway, so what?"

Rei turns around and raises an eyebrow. " _'So what?'_ "

"I mean this has nothing to do with you. My life has nothing to do with you, what I do has nothing to do with you, alright? You're not my fucking father. You're not my b... Whatever, Sakuma-san."

It hurts because it's right. Kaoru's life isn't his business. Again, he has no rights to say or do anything. His only right are as Undead and the Light Music club's leader. His only rights, and nothing else.

"Yes, you're right. You're right, Kaoru-kun. This has nothing to do with me." He stands up and heads to his closet to take a few clothes. "Night walk. You can stay here or go home, it doesn't matter to me. I assume you will just do whatever you want, like you've always done. I'm in no position to stop you." He says with a straight face, before leaving the room.

Kaoru hasn't moved an inch. He's naked, in Rei's bed, feeling incredibly uncomfortable from the cum still in his body. The empty feeling he has makes him unable to even move. _"Just do whatever you want."_ He's confused. It hurts even more than his father forbidding him to do as he wishes. He, who's always refused to be restricted by anyone, feels hurt by someone telling him to be free. How ironic.  
Moreover, he feels mad and frustrated. He can't believe Rei threw all these offensive words at him then didn't say anything for days before coming back only to fuck him. Alright, he's actually the avoiding him all this time as well but it's still not a valid reason to behave this way. It's Rei's fault that they've come to this, definitely.   
Why have things become like this? Why must everything he's involved in go wrong?  Why always him? What went wrong? He has no idea.

  
When Rei comes back home an hour later, Kaoru was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good job sakuma-san


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so sorry for being late i had a hard time writing this one...watata gave me a Very hard time...  
> btw i also did some change with the fic's structure...if it's a pain to read please tell me and i'll change back to how it was before since it's just a skin/css thingy......please ao3 i just want to indent my paragraphs..

Two weeks have passed. Everyone's been busy getting ready for Repaymentfes, especially the second years that have been working really hard in order to send their seniors off properly. The overall atmosphere has been tensed and stressful in every single unit, even more in Undead as Rei and Kaoru haven't exchanged a single word nor a single glance these past two weeks. Plus, everything's been a mess and nothing seems ready at all. The members have become tired, their synchronization's been off and nothing can be fixed. They've reached a dead end.  
At least, Kaoru's been attending every practice...which is probably the only good point...though neither Koga or Adonis knows which is worse between their senior skipping all the time or him bringing this bad atmosphere to practice... Even though he's been talking to them quite normally,. _So_ normally it's become scary...because he has literally ignored Rei's existence, when they're both supposed to graduate.

Koga's been really annoyed by all this for many reasons. First, he hasn't seen any results in all their hard work and he's had the feeling Undead have been practicing for nothing, which has led to him blaming everything on his "lousy senpais." Second, Rei's been as annoying as ever and it really isn't the best timing at all.

"Bastard, doing whatever ya damn please! What the hell are ya thinking? I can't take it anymore! I'll beat ya to death~!"

"Calm down, doggie~ If you snap too much at anyone without a care, you will be sent to the animal shelter, won't you? It would be best to calm down. Here, I'll give you some delicious, cheap sweets... ♪" He smiles and pats the younger one's head.

"Grr I'll kill you!!"

Kaoru's crouching against the wall texting someone while Adonis is stretching next to him. He hasn't paid attention to anything going on and only wants to get over with this boring practice. He's also noticed that they haven't been progressing at all and he still wonders why he keeps coming, knowing that they won't get any better. He probably doesn't want to break his promise to Kanata and tells himself that it's the end of the year so he'd better do things well, for once. Lately, he's lost motivation and hopes for pretty much everything and life's never seemed so boring to him. Not like he misses anything, he just wants to graduate even though he still has no idea about what to do next. At this point, he'd rather follow his father's will than coming up with something himself. His old man was right after all, he's always been just a frivolous brat who has no idea where he's going, doing whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases.  
After replying to his text, he lifts his head to see Adonis still focused on his stretching. It's funny how their relationship has grown, as Kaoru's always thought he used to live in the jungle, back in his home country. He realizes how dumb he was at that time and is relieved to see that he's matured a bit, since then. 

"Adonis-kun, why did you think of becoming an idol?" He asks out of the blue.

The younger boy stops moving and looks at Kaoru. He doesn't answer and seems to be thinking about what to say.

"Aaah, it's not like I'm saying you lack the skill to be an idol, okay? It's because you're a pretty unusual type of guy~ If you just want to play music, there's plenty of other options to choose from...so...I was just wondering, you know." He runs a hand in his hair.

"I see, Hakaze-senpai. Umm, do I absolutely have to say the reason why...?"

Kaoru waves, "aah, nah nah, it's just a question born out of mere curiosity or idle chatter. If you don't want to speak then it's fine by me~"

"Alright. What about you, Hakaze-senpai? Why did you want to become an idol?"

"Me? Well, I'm working as an idol so I can be popular."

"That is very much like you, Hakaze-senpai."

 _Is it really?_ Kaoru wonders. He doesn't even know if he still has enough motivation to pursue as an idol. He smiles, before getting up to stretch as well.

  
Practice's over and all Undead members have started packing up their stuff as well as cleaning the room. Rei leaves the rest to his members, as he "has some things to take care of". He then heads toward the exit first when suddenly, he bumps into someone he wishes he didn't meet.

"Kanata."

"Rei. Hello♪" He waves, smiling.

"What are you doing here? Are you, by any chance, looking for something?"

"I'm 'waiting' for Kaoru."

"Ah. Is that so?"

Kanata nods, before looking over his shoulder to see if Kaoru's there. Rei then tries to find a way to bypass him, saying that he's in a hurry.

"Rei. You haven't 'changed', have you?"

Rei stops moving. He doesn't reply, knowing exactly what his old friend meant by this. Indeed, he hasn’t.

After a few seconds, Kaoru comes out and looks surprised to see both of them talking there, especially since Rei said he had to leave quickly. He decides to ignore the latter. 

"Heyyy Kanata-kun! Sorry for the wait. Let's go." He smiles, before walking a few steps ahead.

Kanata turns around to wave at the vampire, still standing there, looking at them as they slowly disappear from his sight. He doesn't blink an eye as he sees Kanata patting Kaoru's head.

"Huh? You still here, bloodsuckin' bastard?" Koga's voice surprises him. The younger boy is frowning at him, his bag and guitar over his shoulder.

Rei smiles, "Aah, it seems that my plans have changed. The sun shall set before long, therefore, you should go home, Doggie."

"Huh? Are you goin' to stay here for the night or what??" He raises an eyebrow.

"Oh ho? Are you worried about me, Doggie? What a good boy. Let me reward you with a pat on your head♪"

"Gwaah? Don't touch me so freely ya senile old man! So annoyin'" He hits the older boy's hand away.

"What are you so worked up about?.....Is it because you're stressed about Repaymentfes? You needn't worry about that. There is still plenty of time to practice until our performance, you see?"

"Sayin' it's fine just because there's plenty of time ain't no good. And there's definitely NOT plenty of time. Thanks to a certain someone's uselessness, we've been makin' slow progress, dammit."

"....What do you mean?" He frowns a little.

"Seriously, did you get blinded by the sun or what? We're not ready _at all_ and everythin' is a mess. I told you to go talk to that playboy bastard, didn't I? I don't freakin' know what's' been goin' on between you two but it's become even worse than the time he used to skip practice." He pauses; Rei doesn't utter a word. "I'm real tired of takin' care of your shit when it's supposed to be the other way around." He turns his back, "you're not the cool senpai I used to admire.", leaving Rei alone.

He sighs. What is he even supposed to do? He wonders when was the last time he felt this confused. He's always been the one people would come to; asking for advice and opinions. He, who's always had an answer for everything, finds himself lost for the first time in a long while.

"Sakuma-senpai?"

"Oh, Adonis-kun."

"Didn't you say you had important things to do?"

"Well, not anymore. I was...mistaken, you see. I'm just a feeble old man, after all, so my memory would play tricks on me from time to time." He smiles.

"Hm...I understand, Sakuma-senpai." He pauses. "Well, here are the keys you gave me earlier, then. Since you're the last one leaving, you should be the one locking the room." He hands them over.

"You're right. Are you going home, now?"

"Actually, I'm going to eat kebabs with Kanzaki. He has never tried it so I suggested I should be the one showing it to him...He's my closest friend."

"Is that so? Then, I wish you a lot of fun, Adonis-kun. You should enjoy your youth to the fullest."

Rei notices a little blush on Adonis' cheeks. He seems truly happy to hang out with his friend, even though it doesn't seem to be that much. After all, eating kebabs sounds like something any youngster would do with their best friend...but Adonis' reaction looks really cute...It actually reminds him of Kaoru when the latter brought him to the arcade for the first time. The blonde seemed surprisingly happy, enjoying this game when he had probably played it a hundred times already. He seemed to have a lot of fun despite sharing this moment with a guy. Kaoru could've rejected him when Rei told him it was a date, but he stayed anyway. Not only did he stay, but he was also the one suggesting going around all those places Rei's never been before. On top of that, they were his favorite places. Rei's never realized how much fun it was and let his jealousy take over his reason instead, ruining the day and their relationship along with itl. Right now, he feels terribly guilty. Never in his life has he thought he could be this stupid because it definitely was a very childish mistake.

"Sakuma-senpai, are you alright?" Adonis interrupts his thoughts again.

"Ah..Yes. Don't worry, Adonis-kun. You sure are very kind, aren't you? Souma-kun must be very happy in your company."

The younger boy's face suddenly turns red. "N-no, Sakuma-senpai...I..I believe I'm actually a burden to Kanzaki...You see, I always ask him so many questions...He must be tired of me."

"I don't think so, my dear Adonis-kun. He wouldn't have accepted to share this precious moment with you if you were. Anyway, you should get going. You will be late if you stay here and chat with me. Your dear friend must be waiting for you."

"Yes, Sakuma-senpai. You're right. Thank you so much, you're always of big help. Have a good evening." He bows.

"You're very welcome." 

Adonis starts walking toward the exit when suddenly, he turns around.

"Sakuma-senpai?"

"Hm?"

"If it ever becomes painful for you, please rely on me." He says, before leaving.

Rei laughs, "ohh, how cheeky.... Good, good. When I become unable to walk due to a strained back, please take care of me." 

The vampire stands there with a little smile. He sighs. It's amusing how he always manages to give useful advice for others but often feels lost when it comes to his own matters. Everyone's out having fun on Friday evening and he stays there all by himself. _What a sad sight_. He decides to stay a bit longer and goes back in the clubroom to sit on his coffin. His home is empty and he has nowhere else to go, anyway. He should've asked earlier if Koga was busy...He'd be good company.

Suddenly, he wonders what Kaoru and Kanata are doing right now. He then tries to brush this thought aside by thinking of something else instead...but his mind can't get away of Kaoru. All the things they've shared ever since he asked the blonde to join Undead; such precious moments he doesn't want to forget. He actually misses them, already. It feels like it's been ages since they last talked and even though he doesn't feel ready to do it yet, he can't deny that he doesn't miss the blonde's presence in his life. You don't realize what you have until it's gone, after all...and it's already too late. The hole he's been feeling in his heart starts growing bigger and there's nothing he can do about it. He's filled with regrets, yet also feels stupid for being so jealous of Kanata. He's never been like this before, he's always thought that jealousy was one of the worst personality traits. Little did he know that it'd be a part of his own.  
Nevertheless, no matter how he feels toward his old friend, it's obvious that the latter has nothing to do with it. It's not his fault if things have come to this. It's not his fault if Kaoru wants to be with him instead. It's alright. Rei would respects his choice, as he's always respected everyone's. Kanata is a be a better person for him, anyway. Way better than he ever will.

Rei doesn't feel ready to talk to Kaoru at all. He still feels ashamed for what he did and the other boy wouldn't forgive him, anyway. After a few days of thinking, he's realized how awful his words were. He had no right to treat his friend like this.  
Koga's words from earlier suddenly come to his mind. The young boy was right: he should stop being so selfish and think of his unit's sake. Rei then takes his phone out of his pocket and, after a few minutes of struggle, he finally manages to send a text message.

"Let's work hard until graduation. At least for our juniors."

He knows that Kaoru wouldn't reply, but he believes it's the right thing to do as a leader. He has the responsibility to bring his members together, yet he's the one who's been tearing the group apart. _What a shame_. He sighs, while leaving the room.

"Something on your mind, Rei?"

* * *

  
         "Something on your 'mind', Kaoru?"

Kaoru lifts his head. "Nah, not really." He smiles.

Kanata smiles back, before stroking the blonde's head in a very gentle way. This is exactly what Kaoru needs at the moment and he closes his eyes to enjoy it. After a little while, he moves to lay his head on his friend's lap.  
They're sitting on a bench in some park not too far away from Yumenosaki. They actually went to eat dinner and again, neither of them wanted to go home so they ended up staying a bit longer together. The sun has already set long ago, leaving them both in the pale light of the moon. No one says a word. No one wants to break the precious time they're sharing at the moment.  
Kanata still hasn't stopped stroking Kaoru's hair, staring at him so intensely he can't help but take his hand as well. The blonde flinches, but doesn't say anything. He doesn't mind. Kanata's been the one he enjoys the company of the most. Their fingers entwine until their palms touch. Kaoru opens his eyes to his friend's beautiful smile, his face illuminated by the moonlight.

Suddenly, Kanata gets closer and gently kisses the other boy's lips. The latter sits up, blushing and looking away. He feels confused...It doesn't feel that bad at all, it just...feels different. Different from...Rei.

"Do you 'hate' it?" Kanata asks.

"N-no. No, I don't." He takes his hand. "I don't hate it at all, actually."

It's the first time Kaoru admits such a thing so openly. He usually denies his feelings so hard, yet he can't bring himself to do it when he's with Kanata. He feels more honest with himself when he's with him and it makes him feel reassured. He doesn't have to hide anything; he doesn't have to avoid the truth. He doesn't even feel the need to do it. With Kanata, he can be himself.  
Kaoru entwines his fingers with his, before kissing him again. Kanata shivers, surprised by this unexpected move. He then brings his hand to the blonde's face, caressing his cheek with his thumb as he responds to the passionate kiss.

_"Kaoru-kun."_

Kaoru's eyes suddenly widen in surprise, breaking the kiss right away. Rei's face has flashed in his head, whispering his name. Why the hell does he have to appear now, of all times?  

"Kaoru? Are you 'alright'?"

The blonde nods, "yeah, I'm fine. Sorry."

No matter how many times he blinks, Rei won't disappear from his mind. He doesn't know if it's his own doing or if it's some weird vampire curse taking over him, but he wants it to stop. Right now.

"You're not 'fine', Kaoru." Kanata says calmly. "There is no 'need' to 'force' yourself."

He laughs awkwardly, "what are you saying, Kanata-kun? I'm not forcing myself."

"Is 'that' so~? But, Kaoru, you have 'feelings' for someone else, don't you?"

"I don't. Kanata-kun, I think of you as someone I really enjoy being with, y'know? Having a guy friend gives me the shivers, but strangely, Kanata-kun's okay. I really do feel good when I'm with you and it's something I've never felt before? I...I guess I like you? Is that how you put it?"

"I 'like' you too, Kaoru." He smiles and pats the other boy's head, before giving him a peck on the lips.  


* * *

 "Wataru."

"Fufufu! It is I, the one and only Hibiki Wataru...☆" He throws his hand up in the air. "Did I surprise you?"

"You quite did."

"AMAZING! This world is a pleasant box of surprises...☆" He smiles. "Anyway, I shall ask again: is something on your mind, old friend?"

Rei huffs. "I don't know. Perhaps you do?"

"Fufufu. If it is something Rei does not know, then there is no way someone such as I would know either, yes?"

"What's with that answer..." He sighs. "Surely you do have plans for tonight, don't you?"

"I actually do not! Should we go home together?"

Rei nods, his usual smile on his face.  Wataru is as talkative as ever and it's good like this, actually. The older boy doesn't need to force himself to talk as his friend would take the lead. Talking with Wataru's always been easy, and this is what he really likes about him.

They walk for a few minutes before reaching a small park nearby. Rei suggests staying there for a bit before heading home, to which Wataru agrees. As they enter the park, the older boy notices two people sitting on a bench a few meters away from them. He shivers and immediately turns around. 

"Oya?" Wataru says. "Isn't this..."

"It is."

Thank god, Kaoru and Kanata haven't seen them. They're actually awfully close and apparently too busy to notice anyone around them. Rei starts talking about something else, leading his friend to the opposite direction. They sit on another bench, far enough from the two other boys. 

"Aaah Rei, Rei...You did something, didn't you?"

Rei sighs. "I surely did."

"Oh? Please tell the fool right here what is the matter. I've been watching you from afar and I must admit that indeed, you've been quite strange, lately. Wasn't my piece of advice useful to you?"

"Aaah, this..."

Rei thinks about the last time they talked together. It was the day of Undead's concert, after they all went to the beach to celebrate. He and Wataru left the party before everyone because the latter had noticed something different and Rei believed it was a good opportunity to ask him for some advice. He's the best in the field, after all. Who could be better at spreading love than Hibiki Wataru himself? "Do not just stand there — sing! Dance! Sprinkle the whole world with love and surprises!" was what his friend told him on that day... He also gave him the idea of a date and how he should behave with Kaoru. Rei's never told him his real feelings toward the blonde, he's not even sure about their nature, anyway. However, he's pretty sure the magician already knows all about it. To Wataru, everything is "written on people's face."

Without mentioning his confusion and how blurry his feelings have been, Rei tells Wataru all the things that have happened between Kaoru and him. How they became sexfriends, their habits, all the things they said to each other, good and bad. He doesn't miss any detail because he knows that Wataru is one of the people he can trust the most. 

"I've been thinking about this for quite a while, but..." He pauses. "You're still hurt and you're afraid of people leaving you again, aren't you? You don't know what you did wrong for them to abandon you like this, you have always accepted it but lately, you have been trying to do something against it but nothing has worked. Am I right?"

Rei nods slowly. This person is amazing, as expected.

"You're a good person, Rei. You have a good heart. You just don't express it enough."

"What do you mean?"

"Love, Rei! Love! Let's us fill the world with Love... ☆" He stands up, throwing tons of roses in the air. "The core of life, the most beautiful thing in this world. Please remember this. Speak with your heart, old friend. You should not feel guilty, as long as you convey your feelings properly. Anything that get broken can also be fixed, yes?" He gives his friend a morning glory, a flower that brings peace and happiness, as well as attracting good luck.

Rei accepts his gift with a smile. "You must be right."

Wataru nods. "Happiness is neither something you can force people to be, nor something to be bestowed upon. The only thing we can do is to assist people into becoming happy of their own accord."

The two oddballs stay there for a while, talking about each other and catching up with all the things they've missed these past few months.

In one week, everything will come to an end and a new chapter is going to start.  
  


* * *

   
            It's graduation day. The atmosphere's mixed with excitement and stress, as everyone's running around to get everything ready. It's the last day of school, the day Yumenosaki's third years bid goodbye to pursue the path they've chosen, leaving their hopes in their juniors' hands. It's always been a day filled with tears of joy for some, and sadness for others. But at the end, everyone can smile and wish for a better future. 

Undead are currently waiting for their turn, as the stage is being set. Koga's practicing his steps a very last time in a corner, while Adonis is rehearsing his singing parts. Kaoru's on his phone, while Rei's against the wall, arms crossed. These two still haven't spoken. Last time they "interacted" was when Rei texted him a week ago, to which the blonde, as expected, didn't reply.  
After a few minutes, Undead are called to come on stage. They're greeted by a large crowd, composed of Yumenosaki students from idol and general courses, as well as people who have probably come thanks to the school's growing popularity. This performance is their last one as Undead, which means they're not allowed to make any mistake. They have to show Undead's strength once and for all, to let everyone know that they're not only a "rebel and edgy" unit, but also a talented one that deserves to be recognized.

Excited and joyful screams explode in the crowd as their new song starts playing. Rei notices Kaoru has skipped a beat, missing a dance step. Thankfully, he doesn't flinch and continues as if nothing's happened. The show goes on as Undead show their full potential. Despite their hardships, they manage to provide an amazing live. Sure, it could've been better, but to someone from the outside, it definitely doesn't look like a simple high school performance at all. Even though it didn't go as well as they wanted to, they only keep the best memories they've shared together throughout the year. 

"I would like to thank everyone for coming. Thank you for those who have been supporting us for so long, it really does mean a lot." Rei starts his speech. "I would like to thank my members as well...for being the best children."

"Aaah?" Koga snaps.

Rei laughs, "My apologies. I'm feeling quite playful. Today is such a happy day so please, dear members, my partners, do not shed tears." He pats Adonis' shoulder. "I wish you all to pursue your dreams and I do hope we shall meet again in the future. I shall be waiting for you to grow up and catch up." He smiles at his juniors, before turning to Kaoru. "I wish you all to find yourself, to find out who you really are and what you truly want to be." He pauses, then looks at the crowd. "I wish you a lot of happiness, as your leader, but as your friend as well. I'll stay around to watch over you kids, of course. You certainly won't get rid of this old man this easily."

A round of applause follows the leader's last wishes to his members and Koga can't help but hug him. He feels shy and embarrassed, of course, but he cannot contain all the emotions he has, right now.

"You vampire bastard. Just you wait, I'll definitely catch up to you before you can even blink." He blushes.

"Then so be it, Koga." He gives the boy a warm smile.

"Sakuma-senpai..."

Rei smiles then nods toward Adonis' direction as a sign that he can give the audience a few words.

"I want to express my feelings, soften my heart, and make everyone smile. I'm feeling a bit emotional right now so I don't really know what to say but thank you very much. I'll work even harder in the future and I'll protect the weak." Adonis bows.

"Thank y'all for comin' here today...I'm really grateful. I'll work even harder to become an idol so that I can sing with all my might!" Koga says, in a determined tone.

Kaoru's turn arrives and he doesn't really know what to add since his partners have said pretty much everything he wanted to say already. He still tries his best to say something. 

He clears his throat. "Well, huh..Thank you all for coming today, everyone...Hum..." He pauses. "I'm excited to see what the future holds for us. From here on out, I'll have to work even harder and show you that I can be even more serious!" He glances at Rei. "I'm going to...desperately...continue being an idol. And in this long life...if I can meet somebody who would envelope me with love, that'd be a matter of celebration."

The crowd starts screaming, forcing him to stop in the middle of his speech. Kaoru definitely has the talent of catching everyone's heart. 

"So that girls will show me their cute smiles...I'll do my utmost as an idol. Graduation isn't the end. We're just going on a journey to a new world — a much more wider, endless, dangerous, and interesting one. So please continue supporting us. Our Koga-kun and Adonis-kun who will catch up to us, eventually. Until then, I'm going to clean up all the dangerous things that could hurt those kids of ours." He bows, showered with applause and screams. 

Undead then slowly get off the stage after bowing to the crowd a last time. Adonis thanks Rei many times for all the things he's done for the unit, as well as all the times he was there to help him. He bows a few times, until Rei pats his head, asking him to stop. 

"Adonis-kun. You need not thank me for that. Lift your head and stay strong even without us, alright?"

Adonis nods firmly, "yes! I will eat a lot of meat and protect the weak."

"That's the spirit." He smiles.

Rei then looks around as if looking for someone. Kaoru has left a few minutes ago, without a word. He feels slightly disappointed, but doesn't lose his smile. _Today is a happy day_.  
 

* * *

  
         "Congratulations, Sakuma-senpai!"

"Congratulations, Sakuma."

"Rei-niisan! Congratulations!"

"Buchou, what an amazing performance!"

A bunch of students have surrounded Rei, showering him with praises. He makes sure to talk with everyone and enjoys the graduation party as much as possible. Thankfully, the sun has set and he's full of energy, now. The feeling of regret and guilt is still present, but he must stay positive no matter what. Kaoru's decided to pursue as an idol and he should be happy for him, especially since the latter's smiling so much at the moment. He can see the blonde on the other side of the room, talking and laughing with Kanata. He seems to enjoy the party in his company so he has no need to feel sad anymore. Kaoru's happy now and has found his path, this is the best thing he could ever wish for him. 

"Rei."

The vampire turns around. "Oh, Wataru. Aren't you going to show us your wonderful talent as a magician? Today is the last time you can have a magic show at Yumenosaki, isn't it?"

"Fufufufu. I actually did prepare an _extraordinary_ show, my friend!... ☆ Now then, let us put on our masks, join hands, and dance until dawn! ...But before that, 'Since my old friend surely must be tired from moving around in daylight today, how about taking a break on the school roof?' And thus, I came here to invite you... ☆"

"I see, I see. Very well. It is indeed an appropriate time to take a break of fresh air."  
 

The sun's been replaced by a multitude of stars, filling the cloudless night sky. Rei leans against the railing, gazing at the little dots above them as the silver moon illuminates his face. He doesn't utter a word, too focused on the beauty of the night. Wataru must be doing the same, as silence has settled between them. Or more like...Wataru has disappeared.

"Wataru?" Rei looks around. His friend's nowhere to be found. He didn't even hear him leaving, he has vanished into thin air. 

Suddenly, the door opens. 

"Oh... Hm, Sorry." He seems surprised to see Rei there, as if he's expected someone else. It takes him a few seconds to gather his thoughts."Hm, have you seen Kanata-kun?"

"No, I haven't. Sorry.....Kaoru-kun." Rei answers calmly.

 _"He said he'd be here, though."_ Kaoru thinks. "Oh, okay then...Well, have a nice party."

The blonde's about to close the door when Rei's voice stops him.

"Kaoru-kun. May I have a minute of your time?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (:


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god i'm so so so sorry for being so late i didn't forget them alright exams were just harsh on me but i'm back now  
> this chapter is short but..enjoy!

A chilly breeze blows their hair when their eyes meet. They're only a few meters away but it feels like the distance between them keeps growing with each second passing. They stay like this for a little while that seems like eternity. Voices start rising from below, as students are coming out from the building. Kaoru doesn't mind. It'd be way too awkward if there was a silence, actually.

"Yeah, sure." He replies in a calm tone, closing the door behind him.

It's the first time he sees such sadness on Rei's face and it's disconcerting. It feels like no matter what the latter does, Kaoru just can't leave him. Right now, he looks like a lost puppy, desperate for help. The blonde always manages to avoid such problems but there's no way out, this time. He sees himself as someone who doesn't want to be involved with other people's issues but he ends up helping them anyway. This is how he is.

Rei smiles slightly, tapping the place next to him as a silent invitation for the blonde to sit down. Kaoru takes care to keep a little distance between them. He still holds a grudge against him, after all. He's a nice guy and accepted to hear him only out of good will but, to be quite honest, he expects nothing. He feels good as he is now, he successfully graduated and Kanata surely is the person he needs in his life. His relationship with his classmates has become great as well and everything finally starts coming together. He doesn't need anything more...or that's what he wants to believe.

"I'm sorry." Rei breaks the silence.

Kaoru doesn't reply. He avoids his gaze and keeps himself busy by staring at his feet.

"I'm deeply sorry for all the things I did and said to you. For hurting you like I did, I'm sorry."

He pauses for a whole minute. He doesn't know if he should continue...Maybe it's pointless, but maybe it is finally his chance to explain himself to someone who would listen. He doesn't particularly seek forgiveness, he just wants to be listened and understood. He knows that what he did is unforgivable, anyway. Yet, a small part of him still holds onto a slight hope.

"To be quite honest...I'm scared. I'm scared of losing someone I care so much about. It's been like this ever since I was a child...People living me with no apparent reason. Even though I've always accepted it, I'm not sure I've ever quite understood it. Well, in Ritsu's case, I reckon I do...Still, it's heartbreaking because I feels like I've lost him forever and he's never coming back..."

 _"Again with his little brother."_ Kaoru thinks, internally rolling his eyes.

"...and this is why I don't want to lose you either."

Kaoru's eyes widen. _"Wait, what."_ He slightly turns toward the older boy, in disbelief. He's not sure if he's heard it well. This is the first time someone tells him that he's wanted. It actually makes him very embarrassed and he has no idea of a proper reply. He didn't expect anything, yet this goes beyond everything he could think of. He slightly opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

"I have come to cherish every moment we have shared together. It didn't seem like so, but please believe me." He laughs at himself. "I've realized that I care about you so much that I started being scared of losing you...as well as being jealous and angry about such meaningless things. These are some new strange feelings that I don't know how to handle properly and I ended up hurting you instead. Kaoru-kun, I never meant to do that. I'm really sorry."

Kaoru still doesn't utter a word.

"However, I understand if you don't accept my apologies. I just needed you to hear them, at least. I truly am thankful for that. You're very kind, after all, and Kanata is lucky to have you. He'll take care and cherish you the way you deserve." Rei smiles sadly, before standing up.

Kaoru sighs, "You sure do talk a lot, don't you, Sakuma-san?". He covers his face of embarrassment.

Rei laughs, "Well, I guess you will never be able to shut this old man up."

"Are you going to leave before even listening to my reply? A rude old man, if you ask me."

The vampire widens his eyes. He sure didn't expect to get a reply, actually. Well, maybe it's not a bad thing. He sits down, looking at Kaoru who avoids his gaze again.

"You know..err.. It's thanks to you that I've started being serious and that I've found a goal in life."

Rei tilts his head in confusion.

"Like...I've always been blamed for everything. Everything's always been my fault and my old man keeps saying that I wouldn’t go anywhere in life. My older sister's the only one supporting me at all times but I've always had the feeling that I keep disappointing her too." He chuckles. "How pathetic. I've lost motivation for pretty much everything and I've always thought that being free and doing whatever I wanted would help me feel better and get away from all this toxic atmosphere, but...I guess I was wrong. I've realized that I've always lived in denial, for everything. I've always been a coward."

The older boy still doesn't know what his point is, but keeps listening.

"I mean, you're the one...reaching out to me when I needed it the most and I've never thanked you for this"

"Ah, what a strange turn of events, isn't it. I came to apologize yet you're thanking me for such futile things."

"They aren't futile to me, though."

"Is that so? I'm glad to hear this, then. I guess my life isn't filled with suffering and death like you told me it would the very first time we talked."

"I still believe kind people end up suffering and dying..." He pauses. "But, in your case... you won't be alone, anymore...Sakuma-san."

Rei's eyes brighten, staring deep into Kaoru's, who finally lifted his head to look at him. At that time, the blonde has realized that his friend was the one who made him understand so many things. He made him understand that hard work pays off, he showed him that he was worth something. Rei may have said that he doesn't want to lose him, but he doesn't want to lose Rei either. They've become important to each other and it only took them a long while to realize. Kaoru kept denying everything. Instead of seeing things with his two eyes, he closed them and refused to perceive the truth.

"Well, still, you know you really did piss me off many times, right? Lecturing me just like my old man does. It really pisses me off. It pisses me off so much. You're such...a greedy person, you don't give a single fuck about what people feel or think, you just say what satisfies you. You're a jerk who always needs to have a hold on everything, you need to possess everything and god, Sakuma-san, this isn't how things work, okay?"

"Hm, well, this...is taking another turn again."

"You're not even funny, you have an odd sense of humor, you're clingy and annoying, you always want things to go your way. You're terrible and greedy."

"You've already said that, Kaoru-kun."

Kaoru sighs deeply. "But I've realized that I've lived in denial about my sexuality as well, you know. Wait wait wait, I mean, I'm still straight, alright, but..."

He pauses. He needs a break. A whole year worth of break. How come things have come to this? He was supposed to listen to Rei's words but, instead, went on a full-length emotional rant he's never signed up for. _Geez. There's no turning back, now_.

Kaoru looks away and runs a hand in his hair in intense embarrassment. "But...I think...your terrible personality is the reason why..I..." He says in a whisper, "...like you."

His last words were barely audible but for some reason, they were the only ones that got to Rei's ears, startling him like a bomb explosion. "H-huh? Wait, you what?"

The blonde starts blushing intensely "What the hell, d-don't make me repeat this!!"

Rei can't help but tease him again. "Remember I'm an old man, right? My ears have become quite a pain, lately."

"Don't lie!!" He pushes the older boy away, before hiding his burning face. "Aaaaah I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. What are you making me do?"

Rei laughs as he pats his head. He's always found him so cute. His wish to protect him has never once disappeared. He only believed that he wasn't the one suited for this, thinking that Kanata would be way better than him. Yet, Kaoru chose him.

"I like you too, Kaoru-kun." He gives the blonde the warmest smile, even though the latter is too busy trying to hide himself. _"I love you."_

"AMAZING DESU-NE?!!!" Roses start spreading everywhere around them as two people appear out of nowhere. It startled the Undead boys so much it made Kaoru scream. The latter covers his mouth as fast as possible. _Shit, how embarrassing_.

"Puka....Puka... ♪"

Rei hides his face in shame. "Wataru..and Kanata...don't tell me you..."

"I did tell you that I have prepared an _extraordinary_ show, did I not? ☆ But I do admit this surprised face of yours makes me delighted. Aaah what a wonderful night full of surprises, full of love, I, Hibiki Wataru, cannot be happier! "

...Right. He did. Rei thought his friend was talking about some magic show he prepared for the whole school but he was actually talking about this trap. On top of this, Kanata is part of it too.

"Kanata-kun......you did this to me...you lied??" Kaoru says in disbelief.

Kanata giggles. "You are 'happy' now, aren't you...Kaoru?"

Kaoru doesn't reply and blushes even more instead. Everything is adding up and it's way too much for him to handle, at the moment. Actually, the strongest feeling he has right now is happiness. Indeed, he's happy; genuinely happy. Not only has he finally got himself together and become honest with himself, but everything has also ended way better than he'd have ever expected. After all this time living in denial, forcing himself and especially his feelings to take the way he believed was the right one for him. However, he still feels bad for Kanata. The latter was more honest with his feelings than he was. Kaoru thought that what he felt for his friend was more than friendship but...now he realizes that maybe it was forced, as if he used him to forget Rei. And he truly feels terrible for that.

"Do not 'worry', Kaoru." Kanata says, as if he can read his thoughts.

"Kanata-kun..."

"As 'long' as you are 'happy'...That's all that 'matters' to me...Puka...Puka...♪" He smiles.

Kaoru feels moved by Kanata's words and hugs him without thinking. The blue-haired boy seems surprised, but squeezes him tightly while patting his head. He knows that feelings are a hard concept that cannot be understood so easily nor controlled.  
  
They spend a while talking together, Wataru and Kanata both point out how Rei and Kaoru were respectively so desperate to them, to which the latters strongly deny.  
The two oddballs then leave their friends alone to enjoy the party, asking them to join them as soon as possible.

After checking they left through the door and closed it properly, Rei turns around Kaoru with a smile. He still can't believe what has just happened. Everything seems to go so fast. He laughs at himself, at the situation, at what he's been through. What a relief.  
Kaoru stares at him, deep into his red eyes. They seem so bright and beautiful. He stays like this for a few seconds then realizes he's probably staring a bit too much and looks away quickly. Rei chuckles, before taking his chin and kisses him of the lips. It was the softest and warmest kiss Kaoru has ever had in his life.

"Thank you for staying by my side."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :') i luv them


	11. Epilogue

"Hmm...S-Sakuma-san." Kaoru breathes out, intensely feeling his partner's sweet kisses on his neck.

The party has ended quite late and although they wanted to leave earlier, they thought that it wouldn't be nice from them to skip their very last day at Yumenosaki. Thus, they stayed until the very end, enjoying Wataru's magic show and having a lot of fun with their friends. Some tears were shed but they were soon replaced by smiles full of hopes. This isn't the end. This wasn't a goodbye, but rather, a 'see you later'.

Now here they are: Rei and Kaoru, taking pleasure in each other's presence without anyone -certainly not an oddball- disturbing them.

"Wait wait, Sakuma-san. It's graduation day, isn't your family supposed to be here?" Kaoru stops Rei in the middle of his kisses.

The older boy continues what he was doing anyway, "My parents are coming back tomorrow and," he kisses him across his neck and jawline. "I texted Ritsu saying that," another kiss, "his anija is going to be busy at home tonight and it wouldn't be necessary for him to keep me company."

"Oh, really? What did he reply?"

"He said that he didn't intend to stay home today anyway..." He sighs. "Even for his big brother's graduation...How sad."   
  
Kaoru rolls his eyes. Rei then pushes him on his bed, pulling his tie as he gets his face only a few inches away from his.  
  
"Please comfort me, Kaoru-kun."

"Yeah, sure." He replies, before pulling his partner into a deep kiss.  


He'd lie if he said he was entirely comfortable with all this. It still feels weird to admit -especially to himself- that yes, he loves this guy. He loves him and he feels _loved_ by him as well. This actually still seems too surreal to be true and it'll take him a while to get used to this feeling. At least, he accepts it entirely.  
All of a sudden, Kaoru stands up, pushing a surprised Rei to sit on the bed. He then takes care to remove his tie and suit jacket, before kneeling in front of his partner.  
 

"Oh ho?" Rei smirks. "Do you not need alcohol's help, today?"

"Don't provoke me, Sakuma-san." He frowns. "Be lucky I'm...embarrassing myself like this for you."

"Indeed, I feel the luckiest." He leans down to kiss the blonde. "Take care of me; Kaoru-kun."  


Kaoru then proceeds to remove Rei's pants, then his, while the latter does the same with his jacket and shirt. It is flattering to see that the older boy's already half hard only after a few touches and kisses.  


"I see you like me very much, Sakuma-san." He points out, while stroking his bulge with his index finger.

"Don't get ahead of yourself."  
 

The blonde then pulls out the other boy's dick and slowly takes the tip between his lips. Rei's little moans turn him on so much he can't help but stroke his own shaft while gently sucking him. He starts kissing the side of his length then goes up with his tongue, swirling around the tip before putting Rei's cock inside his mouth. His moves are awkward but he's obviously trying, and this fact alone makes the older boy fall all over him again.  
Kaoru starts sucking faster, pumping both his and Rei's dicks in sync.

   
"Fuck," Rei breathes out, closing his eyes.

   
The older boy then brings a hand to Kaoru's head, caressing it as if it's the most precious thing he's ever laid his hand on. He can't take it anymore, he wants to be inside him so bad but he can't let his eyes off this beautiful sight of the one he loves sucking him off. Rei notices that Kaoru's become hard from blowing him. 

He smirks, "Let us go further, Kaoru-kun, shall we?".

Rei takes the blonde's face between his hands to give him a passionate kiss. Their tongues meet and move in circular motion as they both take tiny breaths in between kisses. Without breaking it, Kaoru stands up to put his arms on Rei's shoulders. The latter pulls the blonde in an embrace, as an invitation to sit on his lap. The older boy then puts his arms around him, bringing him closer while his lips are still against his.

They break the kiss after a whole minute. It feels like time has stopped as they stare into each other's eyes. Rei starts playing with Kaoru's hair, looking at him fondly. The blonde can't help but blush a little bit, not used to such affection from someone else. He's supposed to be the one flirting and giving love, not the one receiving. He doesn't dislike it, though, not at all. He's always needed love, after all, and it's the first time someone actually gives it to him.

With Kaoru still on his lap, Rei stretches himself to reach his drawer. He grabs the lube then covers his fingers, before bringing them to his lover's entrance. Kaoru gasps, as he feels them sliding inside of him as well as Rei's other hand on his dick. He leans against the older boy, his mouth close to his ear, moaning loudly when his finger brushes his prostate.  
The sound of Kaoru's whines makes Rei goes faster. He only wants to be inside him _as soon as possible_. He knows that preparation is important and he really doesn't want the other boy to suffer...but still.   


"Just... do it now, Sakuma-san..." Kaoru breathes out against his ear.  


Rei can't hold it anymore. The blonde's sexy voice sends him over the edge and he doesn't even have time to react as Kaoru's already positioned himself on top of his hard cock.  


"Hmm i-it's all in...Kaoru-kun." He closes his eyes, breathing hard. "Are you alright?"

"I'm...fine..." He buries his face in Rei's soft hair, while he takes his hands to put them at each side of his waist. He kisses him, "let me handle the rest."  


Kaoru starts moving slowly. He clings to Rei and feels the latter pressing his lips against his, kissing him passionately. It feels so good, even better than all the things they've done so far. Soft moans leave his lips as he goes faster and deeper. He feels Rei's fingers wrap around his cock and he tilts his head back as shivers run down his spine. 

"R-Rei!" He groans, while moving even faster.

Rei loves how Kaoru always calls him by his first name every time he feels so good he loses his mind. This thought alone is enough to make his dick grow bigger, throbbing inside of the blonde. He gently sucks onto Kaoru's nipple while jerking him off. He can feel his cock hitting deep inside him, making him gasp and moan in pleasure.  


"Kaoru-kun...Hmm..Feels so good." He bites his lips before they part into a little 'ah' with each of Kaoru's thrust.  


A wave of chills washes through Kaoru's body. This is the first time Rei actually says he feels good thanks to him. It's always been Rei bragging about making the blonde feel good but never the other way around.  
Kaoru's moves get faster and faster and their moans become more high-pitched and needy. They kiss passionately, releasing soft and breathy moans as they cling onto each other.  
Kaoru cries out Rei's name as the latter hits his prostate deep, his fingertips digging into his shoulders.

"Ah! F-Fuck...Rei...I'm..close..Ah!" He almost screams out of pleasure as Rei's hand pumps his dick in time with his thrusts.

"Come for me, Kaoru-kun." The vampire whispers in Kaoru's ear in an incredibly sexy voice, sending him over the edge.  


Kaoru pushes Rei's head into a deep and intense kiss as he comes all over their chests. His tongue swirls around inside his mouth, his breaths coming out in ragged pants. He wants all of Rei. All of him, everything.

Rei breaks the kiss. "I'm coming", he breathes out, while taking Kaoru's hand and entwining his fingers with his.

The older boy comes a few seconds later, spilling deep inside of Kaoru. He murmurs his lover's name before kissing him gently. He lets himself fall on the bed, joined soon enough by Kaoru. Both of them pant heavily next to each other. Rei then wraps an arm protectively around Kaoru, burying his face in his neck. They stay in silence for a little while, kissing passionately before slowly falling asleep in each other's arms.  
 

* * *

  
The next morning, they decide to stay in bed. Rei's family wouldn't be back before this afternoon so they still have plenty of time to spend together.

Rei's arm is still wrapped around Kaoru while the latter is busy texting someone. He gets closer to the blonde then gently kisses the nape of his neck.  
 

"Who is it?" The vampire asks. "A young lady?"

"Nah, just..."

"Kanata?"

Kaoru stops texting and turns around, "Don't be stupid, Sakuma-san."

Rei buries his face into the blonde's neck, squeezing him. "I'm not being stupid. I've always thought Kaoru-kun had feelings for my old friend, you see. I believe this is what you call...jealousy?"

He giggles, “are you serious? For real?" He pauses, before saying quietly. "Well, I guess I felt the same toward you and..Hibiki-kun."  


Rei then removes his face from Kaoru's neck to stare at him. He blinks a few times, before bursting out laughing.  


"My, my, Kaoru-kun. You sure are blind, aren't you? Wataru is in a relationship with Tenshouin-kun."

Kaoru's eyes widen and he sits up right away. "Wait, wait, what? What? T-Tenshouin-kun as...Kaichou-san?"

Rei nods, "yes, Kaoru-kun. Tenshouin Eichi from 3-A."  


The blonde lets himself fall back onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow. He feels so ashamed he doesn't dare look at Rei in the eyes. He can't believe Eichi's in his class yet he's never been aware of this. Not like they're close anyway, but relationships between students -especially guys- should be well known from everyone. He used to skip classes so much it shouldn't be surprising that he missed the info.  


"Why did you leave with him without saying anything the other day, then?" Kaoru asks, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Hmm...I suppose I needed some advice on taming a wild animal such as you."

"Wow. That's mean, Sakuma-san."

"I did succeed, didn't I?" He kisses the blonde. "Look at you, now, being all cute and jealous. An adorable little foxie ♪"

"Oh, shut up, I'm not.... whatever." He grumbles as he turns his back to him, getting back to his texting.

"Oya? Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad."

"Well yes, you surely are."

"Whatever, Sakuma-san."

   
Rei chuckles, before burying his face in Kaoru's neck again.

  
"Hm, by the way...Was Wataru your first?" The blonde asks shyly.

"Maybe, maybe not. Why this question again?"

"Nothing. I'm just curious." He shrugs.

"Are you, by any chance, anxious that I might leave you for someone else?"  


Kaoru doesn’t reply and blushes intensely. He feels like he's just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  
  
Rei squeezes his lover closer to him and kisses his back then his neck. "I love you."

The blonde surely didn't expect this at all and his whole face and ears suddenly turn red. He hides himself again by burying his face deep into his pillow. He feels like his face and ears are burning and he's way too embarrassed to reply anything.

Rei then removes his arm and gets on top of him. "Hey, Kaoru-kun. Answer me." He tries to pull Kaoru out of the pillow but he seems to hold onto it as if his life depended on it.

The older boy starts nibbling his ear. "Kaoru..." He says in a threatening tone. 

Some inaudible and strange sounds come out from Kaoru's mouth but the vampire doesn't have a single clue about what words these could be. He then gets his ear closer to Kaoru's mouth, trying to figure out what he's just said. 

"Pardon me? I'm not a young man anymore, you know. You may talk a bit louder than this for me to understand."

“.... I love you too." Kaoru replies in a whisper.

A big smile appears on Rei's face as he rolls over onto his lover's side to face him. He can't let go of the grin on his face and starts playing with Kaoru's hair. He kisses him gently, then passionately, before giving him a peck on the lips. The blonde is still blushing a lot and keeps avoiding his gaze. 

"Hmm I've been wondering...Didn't you say just yesterday that you are still straight, Kaoru-kun?"

"Yeah."

"So...?"

"So what?"

"Does this mean I'm a girl to you or something of the sort? You have realized that I've got the same thing as you, yes?"

"You're...God, Sakuma-san, can you just give me a break?"

"Please, Kaoru-kun. Don't be a child. Be a good boy and answer this old man's questions." 

Kaoru sighs deeply. He frowns, closes his eyes, then gathers all his courage to utter those words.

"You're the only guy I have feelings for."

Rei is happy. He has never felt such bliss before. All this time, he's thought that he'd end up alone until the end of his life. All this time, he's thought that people would just keep leaving him. All this time, he's thought that no one would love him the same way he does. Finally, life has proven him wrong. And for once, he doesn't want to be right.  


"What about we become idols together? You and I." He stares into his Kaoru's eyes that shine like gold.

"Sure...But I won't be looking after you. Brace yourself so you won't break...old man ♪"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
> 
> i can't believe we've reached the end of this fic. i honestly don't know what to say beside THANK YOU everyone for reading my fic, commenting it and giving me kudos. it really really means a lot more than you can imagine and it gave me so much motivation and strength to continue writing for all those weeks...writing a fic for the first time sure isn't easy and your support really gave me a lot. THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it. it's funny to see that what started from a twitter thread became a 11 chapter long fic this is truly amazing lmao
> 
> i'm so emo rn it's 2AM and here i am crying over my own fic ending....i sure hope this won't be my last fic, i'll try to come up with even more in the future! again, thank you for reading and following my fic until the end. reikao are too good and i hope i did them justice.
> 
> !!!!!I LOVE REIKAO!!!!!  
> see y'all soon for more adventures (you can still find me on twitter @duhzai)
> 
> PS: ofc i had to throw eiwata in my reikao fic of fucking course what did u expect


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